Been battling with debt throughout our family life. Never had holidays. I am not from a family that has ever had money. But i have always been a strong person. I have had a lot of knocks and always eventually come out fighting.
I now feel all my fight has gone. I have been ill, with no diagnosis for nearly a year now. I have gone from being an active person. Always their for anyone who needs me. Always playing with my children, singing dancing making them laugh all the time. To a shell of the person i used to be. I have not left my home apart from doctors appointments.
Sent all paperwork off in December. But still no closer to a conclusion. We don't have a lot of income so our dividend is going to be pretty low. Cannot go bankrupt, have not got it in me to be able to go that route. I do not want to hear anyone say it is not as bad as you think going bankrupt. Because for me i do not have my health, i do not have a life anymore and i am watching the world go past. So to me it would be the final nail in the coffin. My home is all i have. Hardly ever see friends and family anymore. Mainly because they never know how i am, most of the time i can struggle to hold a conversation. Creditor calls constantly even though we wrote and asked them not to. Constant threatening letters, more and more fees, interest, default sums and daily overdraft charges. Which is going to make our dividend look worse. That feeling you get when you are under immense fear. Everyone has had that at some point in your lives. Can you imagine feeling like that every waking minute, and the extra burden on your health that causes. Not sleeping and constant worry.
I am not very ggod at putting things into words, i am a good listener, not a good talker.
Need to see that light at the end of the tunnel. I am so happy too see others get their IVAs accepted. Wish i could join them. I have this awful feeling we will be the ones that they will make an example of. The ones who get denied. Well i have poured my heart out now, have no one else to pour it out to.
doomandgloom - sorry you are feeling so low, it is well reconised that debt has a strong impact on mental health. Maybe its time you spoke to your doctor again and explained how you are feeling.
If you came into my medical practice - i would be refering you over for a full assessment of you mental and physical health.
Dealing with debt is hard -even for people with full physical health, there are indications on the statement above that concern me.
You are taking postive steps to deal with the debt - now you need to look at "way your feeling" and take charge and control over this , abeit with a little help from your doctor
Hi, you're most definitely amongst friends here and you can pour your heart out as often as needs be and there will always be someone around to listen.
What stage are you at with proposing your IVA, is it almost there?
xx
IVA final payment left the bank on the 26th January 2013...looking forward to a debt free future.
Hi doomandgloom as Lesley says you are amongst friends here. Debt can really affect your whole life and its still such a tabboo subject.
Personally,we did go down the BR route (forced by creditors) and I totally understand you not wanting to go down that route. However, your health is paramount and a solution to the debt will help you.
Sorry to hear that you are feeling so low. I hope that the support from everyone on the forum will make you feel better.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Hi doomandgloom as the others have said you are not alone now that you have found this forum. The debt situation you are in is common to a lot of us on here but rest assured there is lots of advice, help and support available and there is a solution to your debt problems.
I am sorry to hear that you are ill and have been for some time but as a nurse I have to agree with ginger3232 and would suggest that you make an appointment with your doctor to discuss how you are feeling asap.
You are amongst friends now xx
Hang in there D&G, As long as you can get all the documentation off as soon as you can things will start to roll.
Your health is the most important thing, so put yourself first for once. Your finances will be sorted soon and you can move on and start enjoying your family and life again without money worries.
The experts, mentors and many, many other people in your position who post on this forum will give you all the support and help that you need regarding your debt and money problems.
Hope things improve soon.
1st call 3rd Nov 2010.
Creditors meeting 21st Feb 2011.
IVA approved 22nd Feb 2011.
Will all be over 21st Feb 2016.
D&G --- coming on here is the start of dealing with the debt problems and everybody here will give you all the support and advice they can. But, you DO also need to get to grips with your health issues ... you say you have been ill for a year, with no diagnosis. Without wanting to be too blunt it seems from your post that you are pretty depressed now (not surprising)and that needs to be addressed. But, the illness that started a year ago -- what was it (onset of depression or something else?).
Reason I ask is that I spent a couple of years going downhill and getting no-where fast with doctors. Eventually a keen young student medic suggested M.E (which, with apologies to M.E sufferers, I had always dismissed in the past). Anyway -- it's a diagnosis made when nothing else seems to fit, so I will never know for definite that's what ails me ... but .. I duly went off to a specialist clinic, who, it seems, agreed with the student. After a few sessions I learnt various coping techniques and ways to manage -- and whether it IS M.E or not .. they work !!!
Anyhow ... without knowing what the problems are, I might be talking out of my rear end here ( I often do :0) ) But, do, please, visit your GP, and, if this fits, have a word.
Take care
My opinions are merely that .. opinions based on experience. Always seek professional advice.
IVA Completed 23rd July 2013 .... C.C. 10th January 2014
((((hugs)))) Thank you for sharing with us and letting us help. Doing this when it doesn't come easily hints there is still a spark in you. Dealing with debt is incredibly difficult as is trying to cope with an unknown medical condition. I agree with the others who have suggested speaking to the doctor about your mental health...it doesn't make you weak or crazy...just a normal person going through an abnormally stressful situation...and if you temporarily need a prescription it will give you your fight and your whole self back!! Keep posting...it's a very safe place here. xx
When I was scared and in debt, my mental health was at its lowest point ever, and I was scared, ashamed and felt utterly helpless. Please do as others have suggested and see your GP. there is nothing to be ashamed of and they will give you the support you need.
There will be a solution for you, as there has been for all of us. Keep posting and your friends on the forum will support and guide you as much as we can.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
I wonder why things are taking so long to be processed for you - have you discussed this with your IP, and are they able to give you a timescale now for how long the proposals will take to prepare? Hang in there - it cannot take much longer if you have provided them with the information that they need.
Hello Doomandgloom. I can empathise with you totally. It's a sh*t time,isn't it. I too had serious health issues and like you was there for everyone else & always the singing/dancing clown. Had a very black time health wise & persanal. I too am so deeply ashamed & cannot share this. I too feel that our IVA will be the one to be refused & I don't know which way to turn. I feel SO bad as I feel I am deceiving people on this forum as my real name is not Paula but am convinced that someone will recognise me.
Please go to see your GP as there is medication that will see you through this dark time and carry you through. I have done so (though I was forced into it)but I was at the point where everything is black, black, black.
This site is wonderful. You do feel like you have an understanding friend out there. I feel for you so much.Hang in there.
This has made me cry as you seem so low.
Do it for us x
