Sorry, I need a moan

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Skippy

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Post by Skippy » Sun Aug 26, 2007 8:44 pm
I know there are others on here with far worse problems so I feel guilty posting it, but the problem is unless you are BR or in an IVA it's difficult to understand.

I think the last year is finally catching up with me - I feel such a failure and so ashamed of my debts. At the moment I just want to find a corner and cry. I've let Dave down - I don't know if I will be able to pay my share of the bills when I move as I'm worried the OR will disallow a lot of my expenditure and I'm going to end up worse off. I know it's my own fault and as someone said to me I've got off lightly but at the moment it doesn't feel like that. I'm worried that I'll get a BRU as I told the OR that I first knew I was struggling in Feb 2004, and I'm worried that they'll think I've borrowed money for 2 1/2 years knowing I couldn't repay it. What a mess. I've got a permanent headache and stomach ache and I want to go to sleep and wake up when I've been discharged.

Sorry for rambling on, but it feels better getting it off my chest.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

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aguise

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Post by aguise » Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:21 pm
Hi Skippy.
Dont feel down Dave loves you and that is obvious from your posts. I think you stay strong because you have to, through these things and when the stress dies a little it seems to come back again, stop feeling like a failure because you arent, we make mistakes and boy do we learn from them sometimes, but it makes us a better person. I know its easy to say but what will be will be and being down and worrying wont help. You will manage, think that you wouldnt have managed without the bankrupcy so you have improved things. I am sure the OR will be fine.

Ang x

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Skippy

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Post by Skippy » Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:26 pm
Thanks Ang. It hasn't helped that I have upset one of my friends today - we were supposed to be going out but I couldn't face it, but I didn't tell her the truth as she didn't know about the BR. She knew I wasn't being honest, so I have now told her, but I think it's too late. Hopefully she'll calm down and everything will be ok, but I don't know.

I know Dave loves me, and I'm lucky to have him. I couldn't have carried on as I was before the IVA and BR but I think it's taken all this time to sink in - I probably took it too well at first!

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

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aguise

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Post by aguise » Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:36 pm
Your friend will understand if she is a good friend, let her cool down. It seems to be one of those days today, a few I know feel down too. It does take a while to sink in and then only takes something like your friend to make you think of all the things that you feel low about. Tomorrow is another day and I am sure it will be better for you. Do what I do think of all the good things you have and then you feel better.

Angx

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Skippy

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Post by Skippy » Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:52 pm
Thanks. It's not like me to feel like this. I think I might take myself off to the gym again tomorrow - that'll be 3 days running if I do! Perhaps something good will come out of this!

I'm sure my friend will be ok - I just feel guilty for messing her around. I wish I'd been honest in the first place!

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

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MelanieGiles

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Post by MelanieGiles » Sun Aug 26, 2007 11:56 pm
Skippy - the thought of you getting a BRU is an absolute nonsense. There is no way you will get one of these, so please stop fretting about that at least. Your friend will of course understand that you are unable to do all of things you would like to at present, and I am sure that your IPO payments will not increase, so try and remain positive.

Perhaps the house move is preying on your mind a little bit? Stressful times but you will come through the other side - and remember even the strongest of us are allowed to show our weak sides every once in a while. We are human after all.

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

For further details contact me at http://www.melaniegiles.com and view my IVA blog at: http://melaniegiles.blogs.iva.co.uk
Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner
 
 

Skippy

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Post by Skippy » Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:33 am
Thanks Melanie. I was told by my IP that I was likely to get a BRU due to the amount I owe and it's been praying on my mind ever since.

I told my friend the truth and she was fine - she feels guilty for what she said to me and wishes I'd been honest sooner! It turns out her brother is up to his eyes in debt but is too embarrassed to go BR and so will never be able to repay his debts.

The move is worrying me - I just want a moving date! Work is also busy as someone has left (the atmosphere is better though!) so I've got plenty to worry about! My problem is I like to have everything planned and be in control, and at the moment I'm not!

Thanks for your support x

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

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Dominic

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Post by Dominic » Mon Aug 27, 2007 12:37 pm
you have not let anyone down, whats more important, your life? your Love or money?

Ikow which I choose
 
 

tracy.h

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Post by tracy.h » Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:40 pm
Hi Skippy
Sorry you are having such a rotten time.I must admit i would think a lot of your worries are everything getting on top of you,and i can tell you from experience moving house alone is by far one of the most stressfull things ive ever done so add that to all you have been through and no wonder you are feeling down.
Hopefully things will settle down once you have moved and feel safe in your knew home.
As for BRU i agree with Melanie it won't happen i mean come on you are so honest Skippy even declaring your premium bonds you have been upfront and kept them informed from day one.
Try and stay on top,i'm sending you positive thoughts stay strong you will be fine.xx
 
 

Skippy

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Post by Skippy » Mon Aug 27, 2007 4:00 pm
Thanks Tracy, I think everything hit me at once - BR finally hitting home, moving house (hopefully!), work really busy for the first time in ages etc. I'm going to make sure I go to the gym regularly as exercise is supposed to be a good de-stresser, and even if it doesn't de-stress at least I should lose some weight!

I feel much happier today - I had a good night's sleep and Dave took me off to a local fete. It's not really my sort of thing but I really enjoyed it, and I am now the proud owner of a Bart Simpson rucksack that I won in a tombola, much to Dave's amusement! It did come in useful to carry the rest of the stuff I won - 2 bottles of orangeade, a bottle of cream soda, a purse and a tin of oxtail soup!!!

Thanks to everyone for their support. Dave and my friends are great, but they don't really know what it's like, whereas the people on the forum we've all got a very good idea of what others are going through.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

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Skippy

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Post by Skippy » Mon Aug 27, 2007 4:06 pm
I forgot the particularly horrible owl salt and pepper pots that Dave won - I think they might be off to the charity shop!

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

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OPTIMIST12

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Post by OPTIMIST12 » Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:03 pm
Hello Skippy -

I just wanted to say that - even though my IVA is going OK I still feel a bit panicky and depressed sometimes. I think it is just natural human nature.

I was interested to see that your original post was dated on a Sunday evening. I think an awful lot of people feel down on a Sunday evening - it just relates to the end of the weekend and the week ahead.

I dont know your circumstances but I know that when I worked Monday - Friday then Sunday evening was the most depressing time of the week. But for many years now I have worked a 24/7 shift roster and it does work wonders to get rid of that Sunday night feeling as every day of the week is basically exactly the same!!!!

Sorry if this post sounds like complete nonsense but there is a point I am trying to get across somewhere! Can I just say that whilst in an IVA I will follow your "tomorrow is a mystery" signature as this is so true. I am 6 months in - 54 months to go - but am under no illusions that things could go wrong at any time. But if at some time things do go wrong and I am faced with BR may I just say that I have learnt a lot from your posts. And if things do go well then I shall just keep looking forward to 2012 and a Certificate of Completion!!!!

Good Luck!!
47 months completed - 13 months to go.
 
 

zoe

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Post by zoe » Tue Aug 28, 2007 8:53 pm
Hun
I have just read your post - i haven't been on the computer for a while, you know my mail address, mail me if you need me
xxxx

Zoe
x
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Skippy

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Post by Skippy » Tue Aug 28, 2007 8:55 pm
You've got a great attitude Optimist12, and I'm sure your IVA will be successful. Like you say, it's human nature for us to worry about things, and I don't think I will actually stop worrying until I make my final IPA payment. I know what you mean about Sunday night - I hate that feeling of knowing I've got to get up and go to work the next day! I need a change of job as well, but that's on hold for the time being - mainly because I can't find anything that pays as much!

Good luck with your IVA, and thank you for your kind words x

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

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Sadsack

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Post by Sadsack » Wed Aug 29, 2007 11:22 am
Hi Skip

You have had a hard time - but please don't give up now. You have been a great support to all of us on this forum - your up beat attitude has certainly made me smile in times that I have felt down.

Hang in there, you can do this.

Sue

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