struggling at the moment

[elizabethr]

Having a down moment. Melanie's team sorting out IVA etc so I feel ok now about that but struggling to make ends meet. Had put some money on one side for a contingency whilst getting sorted but that hasn't lasted long and so many things to pay out over the next 4 weeks. I know the IVA is a good thing and not changing my mind and the budget should be ok but having only just started I don't really have contingency built up now (6 months down the line will be ok). Work have overpaid me and want 215 pound back next month - all sorts have gone wrong and I am feeling pretty fed up - husband whilst supportive just says - well I don't know what to do - (Just give me a hug a scream)!!![:(!] I have always taken all the responsibility for the finances and sorting out things and as you all know by now my husband isn't well either !!!! Sorry just sounding off.

I am writing to my Benevelant Society (I have this at work - a bit like the Union) who help in times of trouble but it they won't give me any I am going to have to miss the mortgage interest and pay back over the next year!!!!!

[elizabethr]

Sorry meant to say - I desperately want to come to the Bradford meet but won't get a room if a can't book soon!!! Just wish I could stop blaming hubby for being ill!!!!

[cat 1]

Hi Elizebth.Cheer up.You're doing the right thing.Sometimes it's very hard.Occasionally hard to get out of bed each day.What's wrong with your husband (sorry I feel I may have missed an explanatory post).Do your family and friends know of your siuation?Is there anyone you can share things with? This site is completely supportive.Even though I don't always post I read it daily.Cat

[Soulgrowth]

Hi Elizabeth

From personal experience there is always a stage of readjustment that you go through at this time ... it gives a chance for the finances to balance up again ... so hang on in there and offload on us whenever you feel you need to.[:)]

My journey through my IVA experience has been as a single person ... so no-one (other than the lovely Forum) to share with or to give a me a hug ... I've had to go it all alone. However, I don't know what's worse ... not having someone there anyway to give you hug ... or having someone there and they don't give you a hug ... I suppose it's all case of expectations ... if you see what I mean.

Debbie

[Dee]

Hi Elizabeth

I'm sorry things are difficult for you at the moment. If you really want to come to the FF meeting why not take me up on my offer of a room for the night as I live in walking distance of the venue. I know we dont know each other but if you would like my email address via admin then get in touch and we can chat off the forum and get to know each other a little better before the meeting.

I'm really outgoing so it wont feel too weird for me but if you dont feel comfortable enough to accept my offer, I understand[:)]

Hope things get better soon[:)] x

Dee
X

[elizabethr]

Thanks all for support - Dee I may take you up on the offer. I am very outgoing as well - if I can get a room at the hotel it would be a night away for me and hubby.

Cat1 - Long story about Philips condition - most of the others have heard the story. Severly disabilitating condition calld CRPD Complex Regional Pain Disorder - much maligned because people who don't really understand it think the sufferer is just malingering. I have been main financial provider/carer/counsellor since about 1 year after we got married - lots of "why me" - Philip not working from 2001 to 2006 and had to fight Barclays Insurance for 2 years before they would pay out his income insurance. Had to fight medical profession to get him diagnosed although our GP practice very supportive of whole family. Girls and I had to suffer Jekyll and Hyde situation because of pain and medication. He working again now but very low paid - had to give up his profession of 17 years due to the condition. He getting really bad again and might have to go off work again. So the whole time is taken up with his condition and problems and although he knows all our problems - he can't earn any more money and doesn't give me enough emotional support. People see him though and can't tell anything wrong which causes all sorts of problems as well - we both hoping to come to Bradford. I have access to counselling at work which I will ring tomorrow As for family and friends - my family very supportive as our all my friends. Philips family have never given us any support and have never appreciated his condition and how stressed it makes me. His father doesn't speak to me now - not that I am bothered.

Cat1 - while I am writing did you see my post either today or yesterday - its on the one where you said you had been to St Annes.

[angela18]

oh elizabeth hope you feel better soon.. sometimes things do just get on top of us.. I've just been working our finances out for the month and not that much spare.. after shopping etc.. but hey ho.. its all our money and nothing is credit.. so thats a bonus..

[Viki.W]

Hey Elizabeth, I'm so sorry you're having a bad time at the moment. Everything is all happening at once for you, no wonder you feel c**p. I can't really offer any advice but I just wanted you to know that I really do understand what you are going through and I'm thinking of you. I'm also sending you a big hug[:)] Viki X

[cat 1]

Hi Elizabeth.
Poor you.Being a ful time carer is very difficult and very misunderstood.I work as a mental health nurse, but leave after an hour or so's visit and leave! Usually the person alone, but often with the carer.Full of admiration for people who care and cope every day! I'm sure some days harder than others? Most days you'll just get on with it.The 'me time' is essential and often the thing you can't have?
Yes I saw the other post about St Anne's.I have a friend who lives near a beach in Wales.She has 3 dogs and never goes there with them.This amazes me! Doesn't know how lucky she is.
Hope you're feeling alittle better.Cat

[elizabethr]

Thanks everyone - really helps. I know it will all be ok in the end.

[angela18]

hope you are feeling better today elizabeth.. and all is well at home today!! Thinking of you x

[cfnc]

just wanted to say that I was thinking of you and hope things improve soon.

Kirsty

[elizabethr]

Thanks angela - thinks ok. Its very much up and down and I know I will feel better when its all sorted. I have a very demanding job and a lot to think about there and always have all other sorting out to do as well. Once the IVA starts its process (once all the paper work is together) I know I wont have all the stress of the financial stuff. Feel better anyway now but still have down bits. I am usually pretty good and pulling myself out of it but sometimes it just gets a bit much - off today and going to do some errands, walk with the dogs - coffee and newspaper interlude in my favourite cafe (2 pound for coffee so that not bad for half hour chill) and then start some sewing with some beautiful silk I have "aquired" from my sister.

Have a good day everyone if you're working and even better if you're not.