The Agony and the Equity

[mish1953]

In line with Kerri's < ScaredKez > posting.

Im BR - have been since July - Im a single parent.
I have £20k approx equity in my house .. sorry the OR's house.

My case has been handed over to IP to act as Trustee, that was 2 weeks ago - a surveyor is coming to visit me on Saturday this week to value the house.

Ok I know Im going to lose the house, I know that I cant get a rental , I would need £3000 deposit in this area for a 2 bed terrace. I cant possible save the money in time - I have £80 pm left over after paying my IPA, if I stop paying the m/gage it would take 7 months of non paying to raise £3000 and my lender - NR - say that non payment for months will result in repossession, and they council say that non payment will be making myself volunterily homeless.

This is called being between a rock and a hard place.

Worse than that, I had to tell my daughter that the surveyor is coming round on Saturday, she lives here and would notice . Shes 14 , nearly 15, is now so stressed out that shes not going to school, has tension headaches, sore tummy, vomiting - doesnt want to be homeless, doesnt want to live in a shi%%y council house in a bad area, doesnt want to have to move into the YMCA until the council can find a house for us.

Ive given her all the reassurance and cuddles that I can, Ive tried to contact her mum to convince her that she can stay with her mum when it happens so that she will have a roof over her head and not have to stay in the YMCA with the druggies, east european perverts, and somalian scrotes. She doesnt want to stay with her mum and anyway we havent heard from her for weeks ..

Im know that there is nothing I can do, it doesnt stop me feeling like a useless dad.

Im not a happy man tonight.

Mish

[bagpuss]

awwww Mish...wish there was something i could say to make it better for you and your daughter....what about grandparents...? could she maybe stay with them for a bit...?

You aint a useless dad...otherwise you wouldnt be doing this...you'd still be in debt and pretending it wasnt happening.

I really feel for you mate xx

Angie xx


My IVA Story......http://bagpuss.blogs.iva.co.uk/2007/09/ ... iva-story/

[scaredkez]

mish my heart is with you, its a very dark place at the mo, we won't get council housing in this area as the waiting list is 10yrs, and were there are availabilities i wouldn't like to take my kids they would be eaten alive, have they said to you, that you have to vacate asap, its all confusing to me, the RTLU man yesterday said they wouldn't do anything for 2yrs 3 months, so i was hoping to buy some time as my lad is ages with your daughter 14 and its a really important year this one and next leading upto their GCSE's , my middle son will go crazy if i have to move out the area and away from his precious grandad, as will my daughter who idolises my mum and dad and they feel so grown up being able to walk to grandma's together, i hate myself for what i have done to them and what is going to happen, you can't help it, my eldest is coping best of all, that is in front of me, he has so much here, golf, football, cricket, etc, it breaks my heart thinking he will have to change all his clubs if we have to move into town, we like you can't miss the mortgage payments as we already missed 2 to go BR, and have been told the same if we voluntary surrender we make ourselves homeless, what do you do?

i really feel for your daughter and its not your fault mish but do understand where you are coming from as there myself, i hope things really turn around for us, i really do, give your daughter a big hug from me.

the man from the RTLU made me laugh yesterday when he said can't you offer anything,really wanted to say yes £135 thats all i have in the bank at the mo!!
will that do?
i am sure not many people have a couple of grand lying around, i wish i did.

i am seeing CAB on thursday to see what they come up with re council etc, will let you know.

thinking of you sending you a virtual whiskey to cheer you up
kerri

Please view my blog at: http://scaredkez.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[mish1953]

Thanks Angie & Kerri.

Kerri, Im not going to fight them , but I have already told the Trustee that they are going to have to go to court to get a possession order otherwise I wont get onto the 'homeless' list , the 'not homeless' list is 6 years here ! The council run a unified list - council housing and all housing assc houses.
According to all the litreature the courts wont consider a possesion order until 12 months are up as I have a dependant child , the trustee must 'dispose' of the property within 3 years .

Im a little surprised at the speed the trustee's are moving at, getting a valuation done this early would imply that they want to move quickly.

If I wait too long then Danie will be out of school and over 16 - which means that I dont have a dependent child anymore and may not be prioritised for the council option.

I could of course try and stall for time and throw the Eurpoean Human Rights act at the court and see it I can stall them for 3 years .. but that would leave me with a house with an interest only m/gage and no way to pay the capital at the end of the term.

My parents are long gone, my ex 's parent show little interest in the lassie, occasional phone calls - they haven't visited us in the last 5 years her mum takes her to see them maybe 3 or 4 times a year.

I think I may have a small whisky tonight .
I can make a half bottle last a month now !
Tesco' best value brand ... shudder

Slainte
Mish

[Adam Davies]

Mish
Good luck to you.
You have such a great outlook on life,always with a sense of humour.
I really hope that you get a house secured for you and your daughter......................you sure deserve to
regards

Andy Davie
IVA.co.uk Spokesperson

About me:
http://www.iva.co.uk/andy_davie_profile.asp

IVA Helpline: 0800 197 4838
http://www.iva.co.uk/iva_helpline.asp

[MelanieGiles]

Can I just say that, wearing my other hat as the owner of several rental properties, that my husband and I rarely credit check tenants and find that those who have had financial difficulty in the past tend to be excellent payers as they are so conscious of their budgets.

Mish, how much has your property been valued at and how much are the mortgage payments you are currently making which I assume are affordable? Have you looked into the possibility of somone purchasing your property as an investment and renting it back to you?

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

To have me propose an IVA for you, please visit:
http://www.melaniegiles.com/ivaEnquiry.asp

See customer feedback at:
http://www.iva.com/iva_companies/IVA_Advice_Bureau.asp

[Rainbow]

Mish
Can I just throw in a glimmer of hope for you if your daughter continues in further education IE college she will still be classed as a dependant until she is 18, and you can still continue to claim child benefit for her. Also she may be entitled to EMA if she continues in full time education.
Once the OR starts possession proceedings you will be threatend with homelessness within 28 days and the Council will have a duty towards you. Another option that you could explore as well as Melanie's suggestion is you could approach the Council and ask if they are currently purchasing private properties to take into their own stock or maybe Housing Associations in the area they then could rent the house back to you - Some Councils up and down the country as well as Housing Associations are now doing this and with the Governments annoucement last week on provision of social housing to be increased by a significant thousands each year you may get a Housing Association prepared to do this in next years bid allocation - Certainly worth asking around.
Good Luck
Rainbow

Every Cloud has a silver lining. At the end of the Rainbow is a Pot of Gold - Or Hope!

[mish1953]

Thanks Melanie,
The surveyor is coming on Sat , but I estimate around £115-£117 , outstanding m/gage £93k plus any early repayments .

M/gage repayments are £469 pm , affordable.

There are very few private rentals around here, Ive checked . But still looking.

Sell to rent is getting a bad name locally, the main one has a nasty habit of giving you a 6 month tenancy then selling it from under you .. there have been several reported instances locally recently. Im wary of that 'cos of my circumstances.

One of my mates is working on a cunning plan, it's early days and its a little complicated but its fesible .. maybe .
Said mate is also a single dad, he's currently in a wheelchair having been thrown from a horse and broken his pelvis. He's living at his parents - bungalow - 'cos of his wheelchair. he should be out of the chair by December .. maybe.
His youngest daughter is staying with me 'cos her mum chucked her out 'cos the mums new b/friend doesnt like the lassie, she cant stay with her dad 'cos he cant look after her and his parents house is small .. so I have my 14 yr old and his 17yr old with me.. in a 2 bed terrace.

Anyway the plan .. hes not BR ... and wants to rent once he is better , our kids have known each other for years, he could rent a 4 bed house if we both chip in, for around £800 to £900 a month ..if the agency are happy to accept it. It could get complicated if one of use finds a g/friend ... but IF the letting agency lets us do it that way it may work.
There are an awful lot of new build 4/5 bed rooms houses round here and a lot are empty .
It would be weird living with a bloke but it could solve a problem .. lots of if's and buts ..
as i said its a good plan but.. dunno if it'll work.

Slainte
Mish

I

[MelanieGiles]

Sounds like a good idea to me Mish, if you feel that you could live together. I imagine this would be a relatively short-term plan for you both, given the ages of the children and the reality that they will flee the nest probably over the next five years. You would then be two old batchelors rattling around in a 4 bed house - so perhaps that is the time to find girlfriends!! Seriously, do not put your life on hold for anything or anyone, and hang out for as long as you can in the house, as your current mortgage payments appear to be less that you would pay for a similar rental.

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

To have me propose an IVA for you, please visit:
http://www.melaniegiles.com/ivaEnquiry.asp

See customer feedback at:
http://www.iva.com/iva_companies/IVA_Advice_Bureau.asp

[mish1953]

Thanks Rainbow - Daughter wants to leave school asap and to start working, says that she wnats to help me and save up for driving lessons and buy a honda civic type R ! ! !

Thats interesting about the housing assocs - Ill make enquires on that, every new build estate has to have a percentage of social housing and there are some nice areas -but some awful ones too!
My wee terrace hoose is right at the low end in this area and given its facilities and location I would be amazed if they would want it. No harm in trying tho !

I know the rules about the council and 28 days - you explained it to be before - the interesting bit is the temporary housing - its likely to be the local YMCA or a council hostel - thats what they usually do in this area... the temp accom would be difficult .. its mostly single blokes, mostly eastern european - who have a reputation for groping & worse young girls, with a smattering of somalian pimps & druggies, Im not exaggerating -- my daughter is 14, and 5ft 11 , she just doesnt look her age , I work for the police .. wear a uniform to work .. you can see how well thats not going to work.

I am just going to have to roll with the punches , but its my daughter that im worried about, she has been so unwell since we found out about the survey - its hard for her to accept .

I hate this just now.
Mish

[Rainbow]

Sorry Mish can't remember things that I said yesterday!!!! But remember that the Government brought in legislation that the maximum number of weeks a family can be in temp accommodation is 6 weeks in 2004. They also have to take into account your local networks, IE schools, work and anywhere you have connections with in the area, so they can't move you to another side of town!

Your house sounds just what the Housing Associations look for providing that they will not have to do loads of work to bring it up to their minimum standards, I would certainly have a go at this - Write to the smaller Housing Associations as well as the large ones.

Let us know how you get on. My thoughts go out to your daughter maybe she could stay with someone some of the time whilst in temp accom although watch the residency thing in temp accom as they could say that you don't need it if she doesn't stay all of the time, but I can give you some more help if and when this happens.

Best wishes
Rainbow.

Every Cloud has a silver lining. At the end of the Rainbow is a Pot of Gold - Or Hope!

[lily]

Awww Mish

I really feel for you both, your daughter and you need to be somewhere and sorted, I know that its good advice to stay in the house but wont this just prolong her fear and stress???

Could your/her doctor be of any help?, She is so young to be going through all this. Youre a lovely Dad Mish, I can tell you, if my kids father (cant bring myself to say the word Dad) were half the man you are, I would be extremely happy.

I just hope you/she can have some peace of mind very soon.

Lots of hugs for both of you

lily

[tracy.h]

Mish
You are avery strong person and it must be a very difficult time for you.
Your daughter is a very lucky girl to have a father that cares so much and puts there needs first,i know as a parent thats how it has to be,but you have shown such courage and it seems you don't get support from your ex.
Many people would have crumbled under the pressure but from reading your posts your so grounded you should be proud of yourself.
I really do hope that you will find a home for you and your daughter in the near future,and start to rebuild your life.
You deserve to find some security and happiness.

Tracy

[BrassicLintus]

Just read the thread, and my heart goes out to you and your daughter Mish. I'm lucky in that I have no-one else to worry about other than me hammies, I can't offer any advice or words of wisdom but just wanted to let you know that even though you're wading through a pile o' poo at the moment, your daughter is the luckiest girl to have such a caring and loving dad like you. I sincerely hope that you get the break you deserve very soon.

Sam

[Skippy]

I can't say I know how you're feeling, or offer any advice but I just wanted to wish you and your daughter luck, and to say that she's lucky to have a dad like you x

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/