think the debts are going to cause us to split up

[ladyjayne]

I have debts of £25000 which my partner has become aware of as he started the process of looking for a better mortgage deal. We have a joint mortgage, £66000 equity but £60000 was from the sale of my partners home, how much of this would this be considered as joint assets if I started an IVA, could I even get an IVA? I am keeping on top of the payments but I think the debts are going to cause us to split up in which case I cant.

[quark2008]

Hey ladyjayne welcome to our forum, what makes you think that you will split up may i ask ?

[Viki.W]

Hey ladyjayne, welcome to the forum. If you are REALLY keeping on top of the payments then I'm not sure you are insolvent, you would need to be insolvent to do an IVA. Please wait for the experts to advise you, could you please post a few more details, how much disposable income to you have a month after you pay your mortgage, bills, food, other expenses (don't include you debt repayments)? X

[MelanieGiles]

If you have £66k of equity, but your partner invested £60k when you purchased the property, then he will be entitled to retain that before you split the balance equally.

Often, if you address your debts in a sensible manner - either be revisiting your expenditure to make cuts to enable you to continue to service your creditors, or looking at something more formal, this does take the pressure off a failing relationship and enables you to concentrate on that - ie the most important part of your life.

Perhaps a chat with an insolvency practitioner would be helpful, if only to give you some pointers as to how to manage your finances in a more structured way.

[ladyjayne]

My partner is aware of half of my debts and talking about kicking me out as it is. My basic wage is £1000 monthly and the outgoings I pay on my debts (without dibbing into credit cards etc which I have been doing upto recently) are £900. I have been to the bank today to discuss my options, re mortgage was the advice given but my partner will not release any of his equity because of my debts. I have cancelled gym membership, cut up my credit cards etc, reduced everything I can, I am pushing for a wage rise,I have reduced the car insurance, contact lenses (back to glasses )Just stumped what to do next. £12000 of my debt is credit cards and I was turned down from my own bank for a loan to cover these due to the running of my account. I have applied for a second job as well which would increase my earnings by £4500 a year. My partner says I have to get my finances in order to get the mortgage deal he wants or I'm gone. If he throws me out renting would mean I couldn't pay everything.

[ladyjayne]

Hello again. I missed some information out. As it stands I contribute £200 to joint account towards mortgage. Apart from debts and my contribution to the joint account my outgoings are now £70.50. My partner deals with utilities etc. My partners income is £2000 a month and outgoings about £1750 a month, hense he wants a better mortgage deal with or without me.

[Viki.W]

Ladyjayne, I am shocked by your post. Your partner is threatening you and that's just not on. Obviously, I don't know all the facts but I think that you should definately be thinking of yourself first, you poor thing. Hang in there, I'm sure the experts will want to help. X

[MelanieGiles]

You clearly have more deeper issues here than just debt, and if an unsupportive partner will not help you, then a DMP might be the best way forward.

Why not have a chat with Andrew Graveson who is a regular poster on the forum and runs a very reputable DMP company. He can advise you on the pros and cons of debt management, so that you can consider whether this is appropriate for you.

[debtmountain]

Hi Ladyjayne,[:)]

Just wanted to say hi and welcome to the Forum.

Sorry you are having problems but you're in the right place now for help and encouragement.

Keep in touch and Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

xx

[ladyjayne]

Thank you for the support, glad I came across this site as I was feeling like I was the only person in this position. Looking like I need to find somewhere to rent, a studio flat, low maintenence. Will landlords do a credit check and my debts go against me?

[Vincent Bond]

Hi Ladyjane

Most letting agencies will do a credit search with a prospective new tenant but this is not always the case and if you persevere you will find something. If you are upfront about your situation it should work in your favour.

You may find that you need to produce a reference from a professional or your employer but remember not all landlords use letting agencies.

Good luck with the house hunting, stay positive

Vincent Bond

[LoneRanger]

Hi

There are plenty of private lettings around if you look in your local paper. They will not subject you to a credit check, they may just ask for references.

I have rented a few places and only on one occasion has the Landlord asked for a bank reference, which is just the bank saying if you run your account well or not, but only with your authority to do so. It will cost the landlord for this. If a potential landlord is to do this then he/she would tell you so, but as far as im aware not many do it.

Good luck

[Viki.W]

Hey Ladyjayne, if you haven't missed a payment yet then your credit score might be ok. Keep posting, we're all here for you. X

[kallis3]

Hi LadyJayne and a welcome from me too.

If you are up to date with your payments, you should have no problems renting a property.

Your partner does not sound as though he is very understanding and is using emotional blackmail.

I wouldn't wait until he told me to go, I'd be packing my bags.[:)]

[Tifosi1]

Hello LadyJayne, i am new here to and it relly is a great support.

After reading your posts i cant believe what your partner is being like. Surely if you love someone and you intend to be together for the rest of your lives, the important thing is to help each other and do whatever you can to sort out the problems. After all, as a couple your problems are just as much his.

Over the past few years we have been to hell and back, and on many occasions my fiance told me to leave her and start a new life without her - much of our debt is down to family problems (her side). But as i love her i want to stand by her and work through everything together. After all, the problems wont last forever and then you can concentrate on the better things in life.

In my opinion, if your partner loved you he would do everything in his power to help you put things right - i mean, does he have no debt at all? he should help and work with you to adjust your lifestyle so that you can reduce your debt instead of making you feel terrible.

If you both feel however that things arent working and that it would be the same even without the presure of debt then you should talk together about this and see if a break or split is the best option

BTW - surely if you have been contributing to the household bills and mortgage - it sounds like this as you mention joint accounts etc - and can prove you have contributed financially, i would have thought that if you had been together over a certain amount of time (6 momnths or 12 months i believe) you have an entitlement on any assets in a break up - especially on the increase in equity on the house - it might be worth reminding him of this next time he is keen to threaten you!