Hi skint, and welcome to the forum.
First of all, is all the debt yours, or are some of the loans joint ones? If so, then your wife will need to be told about the IVA as the creditors would chase her for that loan.
Otherwise, it can all be done over the phone and by letter, unless you are self employed, when you do have to have a face-to-face meeting.
I recommend that you speak to an Insolvency Practictioner as soon as possible. There are several who post on here who come highly recommended and their details can be found under the expert link on the left hand side of the page. Or visit
www.iva.com where you can see lists and reviews of companies.
I would recommend that you share this with your wife though. You will probably find that she will be supportive once she knows you are doing something and you won't have to bear the burden all by yourself.