This site!!

[tracy.h]

Hi Kiska really sorry to hear your sad news,it puts everything else in perspective.
I know its hard but you have to stay strong,my fatherinlaw has cancer so i can understand how you feel.
I work for the NHS and work closely with patients that have breast cancer there is so much you they can do and the outlook is very good as treatment for breast cancer is very positive.
Hang in there,im sending love to you and your family and praying for a positive outcome.

Tracy

[Kiska]

thank you all for your kind words, its like were all close friends but we don't know each other. i know some people can look at me sometimes at work( a few people there know about IVA) and can see me laughing and smiling but if i didn't do that i would crack. fortunatly she is taking it well and is more worried about loosing her hair.

bless
we've had a good laugh together about it so she is in good spirits.

thank you once again..x x x

[Dominic]

hope all goes well for you and your sister.

[Kiska]

hi tracy. sorry to hear about your father in law. its such a horrible thing. she's just had her 2nd chemo and her hair is falling out big time. a good friend at ork has just been diagnosed as well, its not a good atmosphere at the moment. i only have 40p in my purse till pay day as well. i do wonder how we all cope sometimes.

love to every one

kerry x x x

one day hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[scaredkez]

kiska
sorry to hear about having no pennies , i haven't myself this weekened, but managing, you will get there hun
love kerri

Please view my blog at: http://scaredkez.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[Kiska]

sorry to hear you have had a bad weekend too,

its hard, sometimes i feel really positive and other times i just want to crawl into a hole and make it all go away.

we have just been looking at some holiday photographs and some of my daughters birthday when everything was normal and we were all well.

why have you had a bad weekend?

love kerry

[scaredkez]

no we are a bit strapped for cash until thursday, we had to have the cam belt done on the car, my hubby got caught by a speed camera and the payment had to be paid on that so what little we had until payday went on those, that was over £220, also had a bad weekend with my 8 yr old, i posted it on friends corner, basically he met strangers in the park who wanted to play on their bikes and gave him and his friend sweets, scary, even after we had drummed stranger danger into him all these years he accepted a sweet off them, police were not interested but i was going hairless thinking of what could have been,a lot calmer today,
kerri

Please view my blog at: http://scaredkez.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[Kiska]

oh gosh i remember reading that. didn't put 2 and 2 together i'm so sorry.

i work in a school and in the last few days 2 kids have reported cases of abuse to me by people they trust its so disturbing and so upsetting, i can't believe the police didn't want to know.

i lost my daughter once on a beach and it was the worst 5 minutes of my life. especially when her dad ran towards the sea, luckily she was clever enough to find a life guard and report herself missing. bless...

i feel so much for little madeline..

[scaredkez]

i couldn't believe it either, said they had done nothing untoward, you never think anything like that could happen to you but it does, kids who would have them hey, they are certainly sent to try us, i think he has realised how serious it was yesterday he knows he is no longer allowed to play out and has been as good as gold tonight.
kerri

Please view my blog at: http://scaredkez.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[Kiska]

he seems to have learned by his mistake and now he has thought about it knows the danger.

i'm thinking now about how to get out of my mess. really strugling with payments since csa money has dropped by over £100. can't do this for much longer...

need a hole to open up and swallow me now....

dreading xmas and thats not right, its a special time....

love kerry

[scaredkez]

i know when you think xmas is only 6 months away, are you not any nearer in which way you want to go yet? i know you are struggling with the iva, is BR definitely ruled out, i know it sounds horrible but it was the best thing for me, we are doing serious house hunting tomorrow so we can draw closure too, just need to rake up 6 months up front, you don't think you can sink any lower do you ? i hated the 8 months when i was going through what you are going through now and thinking back on that time makes me shudder, if it hadn't been for freelili keeping me sane i don't know what i would have done, she pushed me, shouted at me, soothed me, talked to me, i couldn't have done it without her support, she listened to me when i ranted, cried and shouted, thats the best thing about this forum is the people you get talking to who are not judgemental as they are going through the same thing, i really do hope you can find some way out of your hole, how is your sister by the way? i hate thinking about money everyday, must admit i really budget now and wished i had done sooner, the whole thing has given me a real kick up the back side, just sorry that i had to put the kids through the last 12 months and become a monster, kiska you will find peace one day and start living life to the full, its hard to visualise now but you will, we are all here for you.
kerri

Please view my blog at: http://scaredkez.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[Kiska]

as far as i know she is ok, feeling a bit rough after chemo, and missing her hair.

as partner and i are not married he has been thinking about bankrupcy because house is in my name and technically i can raise enough to pay my debts cuuse his were higher but we decided to do a joint but identical iva. i'm so confused, its all spinning around in my head all the time... what do we do? how do we cope?... what about?... i've also got a hosp app for a scab on my lip that will not heal i'm thinking the worse cause i'm so worried, again the what if's... but... start creaping in...

this site is brill cause you are all real people. you seem really nice and helpful.l i've read some of your other posts and it's really encouraging. after this weekend i do not think i could stoop asny lower than 'borrowing' my daughters last £1.50 pocket money so i could get some bread and milk...

i'ts bed time now... i'm on tablets that relax you but make you have sleepless nights where i toss and turn and keep my partner awake so i feel bad about that...

never mind hey... one day...????!!!!

i'll log on in the morning

nighy night kerry x

[scaredkez]

kiska, it will get better, and i am defo real, listen i can help with the scab on the lip thing too, its probably nothing to worry about, you are stressed and anything that arises when stressed takes longer to heal, its probably only a cold sore or are you biting your lip?
i have borrowed my kids pocket money too, but mine are a bit thrifty and ask for it back straight away, work out your future and the way you both want to go, i still dont sleep very well but thats because of whats happened, we all have some form of pill to help us we all are not angels , but good night sleep well will be here tomorrow, kiska do whats right

love kerri

Please view my blog at: http://scaredkez.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[tracy.h]

Hi Kiska
sorry havnt replied so much going on with my fatherinlaw hes been going into the hospice for palative care and i have been spending a lot of time between my inlaws and my dads he had a mini stroke a couple of weeks ago so don't know what im doing at the moment.
Havnt had a lot of time to be worried about my finances,i'm putting all my energies into helping out.
You are probably so stressed at the moment the sore on your lip is hopefully due to all the stress you are under stress affects us all in different ways.
Keep your chin up things will work out.xx

[Skippy]

Hi Tracy and Kiska, I'm really sorry to hear that things aren't good for either of you at the moment.

Tracy, I hope that your family is finding the hospice is helping. My uncle was in a hospice earlier this year and the work they do is amazing. I'm sorry to hear about your dad, but if it's any consolation my aunt had 2 mini strokes a few years ago and God willing she will be 100 in October.

Kiska, as the others have said the scab could be caused by stress - I suffer from cold sores and the more stressed I am the longer they take to heal. Good luck to your sister in law Kiska, and to your friend. A friend of mine's wife was diagnosed with breast cancer before Christmas and lost her hair with chemo. My friend bought her 7 different wigs so she could have different looks, and he also shaved his hair off at the same time. She is now on the mend, and although she's got a long way to go before getting the all clear she is in remission. The sooner they can find a cure for this awful disease the better.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/