time to wake up and smell the coffee

[rockbottom]

hi all

im after a bit of advice or oppinions, as some of you will know from my earlier posts, i remortgaged my house and have some money in the bank but its going down quickly cause i keep paying my monthly cc bills,because ive been too frightened to face things, left owing 45000, money left in bank 21000, because i havent returned to work due to pn depression there is no disposable income at end of month from hubbys wage we just about break even, i really dont know whether to try and negotiate settlement figures with my creditors or try for f f iva, as some of you might remember i made a big booboo and paid the halifax off in full cause i was really panicking and not thinking straight, this could go against me in an iva, im frightened that if i try to negotiate myself they will say no and then will be aware of my situation and know that i would probably try for an iva and maybe try and make me br first, or vice versa, im probably looking too deeply into what they will think but i cant help picturing the creditors discussing me and not just seeing me as an account no, does anyone else feel like that, any advice or oppinions would be grate, anyone ever tried to settle with creditors direct, sorry for the long post but i know i have to make my mind up now, this money wont be here forever and is my only chance to get out of debt and i really dont want to make another booboo.

thanks
rb

[Viki.W]

Hey RB,

I'm in a similar situation so I hope this helps:-

I sold my house last year because I couldn't afford it, and moved in with my Dad. I didn't come out with much but I thought I would deal with one debt at a time so I paid my MINT credit card off, approx £10,000. I then realised that I couldn't really pay anything else off so I'm selling my restaurant to offer a Full and Final IVA through Melanie.

I asked Melanie whether that would look like I was favouring one creditor over another, but she said NO, because it was done with the best of intentions and before I even new what an IVA was. Also it was MINT as opposed to, say, a family member.

It's quite difficult to get ALL of your creditors to agree to a full and final without the legal binding of an IVA, but not impossible. My friend did this when she sold her restaurant two years ago!

Good luck, Viki X

[rockbottom]

thanks Viki

is the bank manager back from holiday yet, are you due to get an offer this week and how did your 2nd viewing go, sorry if you ve said and i missed it.

rb

[Viki.W]

Hey rb, the bank manager IS back and the second guy has just this minute cancelled for no other reason than he's too busy! Hopefully offer soon! Thanks for thinking of me but we need to get you sorted, I'm worried about you.[:I] Maybe an expert will be along to help. Viki X

[rockbottom]

oooohhh thanks viki

youve just brought tears to my eyes, im ok honestly, at least i have the money there, yours is still in the pipeline but not quite there yet, that must be extremely worrying for you, cant believe he cancelled on you, how annoying, hopefully he will rebook or the other lady will get to see mr bank manager this week, by the way i did pay i family member off aswell, how many more times am i gonna mess up.

love rb

[Viki.W]

Oh rb, don't worry. You did this all before, so no one is going to blame you for trying to pay some of the debt off. I'm sure it won't go against you. You still have money to offer to your creditors and that's the main thing. Maybe Ian or Andy can offer some expert advice to reassure you. I'll keep bumping it up when I can![:D]

Thinking of you, Viki X

p.s. it's great that we've all got each other isn't it.[:I]

[rockbottom]

thanks Viki

and yes this site is an absolute godsend, even though ive get my oh[:)] he is useless when it comes to this, he just says you do it, you sort it your better than me at things like this[}:)]bless him if i was we wouldnt be in this mess in the first place im sure, never mind we are in this mess now and im going to try my best to sort it and not put my head back in the sand where it has been rather alot lately, also for the first time this week i told my son he couldnt have something, i told him we couldnt afford it, which before now ive never really said to anyone as i felt a failure for not being able to afford it, how stupid am i, and he just said ok mam, why didnt i do that before[}:)].

rb

[kallis3]

RB it is awful when you have to refuse your kids stuff - we're totally brassic till Wednesday so I even had to tell daughter that we couldn't afford bananas. I've got 12p in my purse at the moment.

Now that you have given yourself a mental shake, I am sure you will be able to sort things out ok.

[Viki.W]

Ah, your son sounds lovely, I guess kids can surprise you sometimes.

Hubby is a bit like yours, but to be honest, I HAVE to be in control. I like to be the one with the money.....sorry, I mean.......money problems!!!![:D]

You'll find a way, I promise. Viki X

[animaleyes76]

Viki, Viki where did your "animaleyes76" post go?

Boo hoo!!

[rockbottom]

hee[:D]hee[:D] Viki

oh Kallis role on Wednesday for you

RB

[rockbottom]

hi all
just being really cheeky [:I] and bumping myself back to the top just in case there are any experts or anyone else with experience of this.

thanks rb

[facingittogether]

hi rockbottom!

i am not a expert and this is just my views personally but i would not have like to go it alone trying to negotiate with them, i felt happier (maybe because i am a coward) having a professional acting for me! at the end of the day they are professionals in what they do! just my opinion of course!

barb x

[rockbottom]

thanks facingittogether

all oppinions welcome it will help me make my decision, unfortunately im a bit of a coward too, i would deal with them though if i thought id stand any chance of settlement

rb

[facingittogether]

rockbottom, i was terrified too! but the truth of the matter is that we had to do something as it was nigh on impossible for us to cary on robbing one card to pay another!

you havent got anything to lose! they can only say no! at some point you are going to have to face it one way whether you go alone or with the help of a professional!

i felt just the same as you, but honestly, there will be a way to get things sorted!

barb x