Trying to teach my daughter about debt

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Post by lukeofyorkshire » Wed Dec 12, 2012 5:45 pm
God I do not envy you that dilemma! To not let her go would really teach her something but then to not let her off just once must have been hard.

I honestly can not say which way I'd have gone!
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Post by rosie_percy » Tue Dec 10, 2013 4:53 pm
I really feel for you! It's not a easy job to teach your children about a lot of things - let alone something as abstract as dept! I think you are being really fair and just know that in the long run you are teaching her something that will help her for the rest of her life! Don't feel guilty at all! I wish my mother had taught me!


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Post by Hair_bobbles » Fri Dec 13, 2013 12:46 pm
Perhaps it depends on the kind of lifestyle you had before the iva. We didn't have big expensive holidays before the iva - or buy the kids expensive clothes or shoes. But we did used to go to town on toys.

I don't think our kids have suffered because we didn't get it right with the finances. In fact it's the opposite.

Although we never told the kids about being in an iva,,we told them money was tight & we had to be careful & in the last year we told them we had a bit of debt that was getting paid off & we'd have a bit of spare money after that.

They just accepted that. There is no argument.

At times when they have asked for things that we can't afford- I've sat down & gone through the budgeting with them so they can see where exactly the money is going.

For the last 5 & 1/2 years I've talked about making mistakes with money & the fact that it takes years to get straight after it .
We've talked about saving a proportion of any money they earn & to get the mindset of " saving up to buy " rather than think- "I'll get it on credit"
I've also recently discussed with our eldest who has just got his first job,,at how important the credit file is because it records how well you manage your accounts.

For the last couple of months our 2nd child has had a little job of about 4-5 hrs a week at £5 per hour.
He saves £20 every week.
The eldest- is planning on saving half his wages every month. & has a budget.

These are things that have to be taught & I wish my parents had done that with me.

Personally - I wouldn't have allowed my daughter to have extra money to go to the disco after she spent all her pocket money.

What would she learn from that? If I say no I mean no.
She's got to make her own mistakes to learn from them but if you bail em out- its teaching them they don't have to be responsible for themselves.

My kids are now 19, 17,15 & 11. So we have toughed it out through the worst of the teenage years!!

An old bible proverb says this: the rich one rules the poor, and the borrower is a slave to the lender.

How true are those words of wisdom.


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Post by lisakent86 » Fri Mar 27, 2020 8:29 pm
I think what you are doing is the right thing as you want to teach your daughter to understand the seriousness of debt. When in debt we can't do anything but manage the money. However, we get payment plans. So, this time you can advise her about the seriousness of not managing the money in the future. There is nothing to feel guilty about it as such. Explain it to her and you can say that this money which she got from her father, she should treat it as a loan and now she has to earn this too. Plan her activities for earning this and the rest of her pocket money. hope this helps.


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Post by Foggy » Fri Mar 27, 2020 8:58 pm
Lisa -- this 'child' is now 21 years of age -- the thread is 8 years old !
My opinions are merely that .. opinions based on experience. Always seek professional advice.
IVA Completed 23rd July 2013 .... C.C. 10th January 2014
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