I'm writing this post as much as anything else to push myself towards taking steps to sort out my debt problem. I know that this site is anonymous, but the very act of having to sit down and think through where I am and what options are available to me is a positive step all by itself.
My debts are huge and rising - £120k+ and I'm running out of available cash after being made redundant last year. I've got no job and know I ant afford to stay where I'm living now. I've been stuck wondering about what to do first - get a job ( even if much lower paid than I had) get somewhere more affordable to rent or to go straight to one of the recommended advisers mentioned regularly on this site who can tell me if I have a chance to avoid bankruptcy with an IVA. Are my debts just too large for that?
The way I've been keeping my head buried in the sand has been irresponsible and I'm increasingly ashamed at my own stupidity.
Just waiting for some creditor to take legal action against me isn't the solution - I know that. This weekend I'm going to start the process of opening and filing all my unopened mail from the last 2 months, just to see how bad things are. Once I've got that information I'll be able, on Monday morning, to make that/those first difficult telephone call(s) to (an) advisor(s) recommended on this site to take the first steps towards getting my life back under control. I know that things will get worse for me - maybe much worse - before they begin to get any better. But I've only got myself to blame for the situation I'm in.
I'm scared. Scared of how low I'm going to fall. Scared that I may end up homeless. Scared just how bad things will get for me. But reading posts on this site shows me that there can be hope, that people can make a new life with problems and situations far worse than my own. But first I've got to screw up the courage to face up to reality and to take those first steps towards getting myself out of the mess I've created.
Sorry if I've droned on for too long. My life's descending into a nightmare that I've got to face up to. Writing this post, even though it's anonymous, just helps me to stop burying my head in the sand and to start taking the action I should have done ages ago. Even though I should have done this before, that's no excuse to keep putting this off - its better now than later.
Signed: a stupid, feckless, irresponsible man who's only just facing up to his previous state of denial.