I've emailed my IP and I'm just waiting for a reply. in the meantime my partner has decided to play awkward. Although we are separating he wants to stay in the house, can he do that. We do own the property 50/50 however as we have the children I'd rather he moved out.
I guess on a positive note if he did stay in the house we could continue the IVA although I dont see that as a good enough reason for him to stay. it's more the effect on the kids I'm worried about
If he stays it may impact on the IVA and the children. For example, would you continue to eat as a family or would he have to buy his own food and toiletries and eat his meals at a separate time? Would he have his own shelf in the fridge and allotted times for doing his laundry. I am not trying to trivialise the issue at all but point out some of the major pitfalls that could arise.
If it is an amicable split and the children are not affected by it all it is certainly an option for him to stay. This would not impact at all on the IVA. You have to make the decision based on what is best for you and your family and not what is best for your creditors or your IVA.
Hi
It's not amicable by any means, he's just been plain stubborn because he owns half the property. We wont be eating as a family. he'll be buying his own food and toiletries. He'll have his own shelf in the fridge, his own cupboard in the kitchen and his own room upstairs. I'll be paying the mortgage and he'll be paying rent.
How would this affect the IVA. With us still living under the same roof how do we prove everything would be separate
I think you just have proven that everything is seperate. He is entitled to be there unless his behaviour is not accepteble. Best thing is to put on a brave face and live your life with your children as if he isn't there. I know it is difficult but if you dont get it any confrontation he will probably give up and move out.
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What a difficult situation for you all to live under - especially the children - but an aunt and uncle of mine lived like this for years, divorced and eventually remarried - so never say never.
Hope it all works out for you. Things must be a little raw at the moment, but common sense will eventually prevail for you all.
I know it may be too late for this but have you looked into relationship counselling? I've been staying with a friend for a few weeks and am looking for a place to rent of my own as I reached the point where I couldn't put up with my husband being useless, not bringing any money in and not paying me any attention. I expected to leave permanently but he has come to his senses and is able to say what he's done wrong, and he is changing for the better (for himself and not just for me). We're going to give it about 6 months to a year of living apart and see if we can work things out, and see if he can make the changes permanent. We don't have any children, so that's one less worry. We're going through a book called 'overcoming relationship problems' and it is helping already. If you are going to continue living under the same roof I think it may help you as well, even if your relationship does end.
Good luck with whatever happens.
