I too opened new accounts with Natwest and in ten days we have our creditors meeting.
I feelits the best decision we have made.
We actually went with melanie giles who also posts on here, she was highly recommended to me from my sister and seeing the praise for her and her team on here I knew we had made the right decision. There are a few experts who post on this forum and all come with high praise.
Ring a couple and talk to them, it really will help just to talk it through.
Well done - your starting the process in opening the Natwest account. I initially applied and was accepted for a FIRST DIRECT account but after reading the advice on this forum - I quickly applied to NATWEST as First direct scroll thru the IVA register and will close your account within months!. I know several people on here who have told Natwest they are in an IVA and they are fine about it.
So sad to hear about your Dad - it must be making this situation a WHOLE lot worse for you. But Kallis is right - parents don't need to know. My Mum & Dad would have tried to help but I don't want that - I want to settle my debts on my own and come out the other end.
IVA.com will give you the advice on recommended companies. You can't really go wrong on any of the ones listed on there. I rang several at random from browsing the internet but was surprised at the difference on fees etc. Some charge upfront fees. So watch for that.
Basically they will talk through your situation - allow half hour for the call!. They will ask for details of creditors and your income & expenditure so they can work out what you can afford each month i.e SURPLUS to put into an IVA. May be worth jotting down some rough figures so you are not trying to pluck figures out of the sky when you do call. the whole process takes 6-8 weeks so you COULD be in your IVA by March. Have you been up to date with your creditors or have you been missing payments?.
My parents would kill me if they knew of our situation! They don't have the money to help anyway.
Kim, just leave your dad in ignorance, make sure his remaing time is full of happy memories of you all.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
As my sister will comfirm we can't talk to our parents. When my sis first started the process 6 years ago they were not very supportive, their attitude one of 'oh H**** what happened, why did it get this bad.
And over the last few years they have occasionally said things like, don't get like your sister, hope you're being sensible. we were and are but its one credit card and their rates that pushed us over the limit. I can't tell my parents at all. I am sure that your Dad will be happier being in ignorance of this situation. Its just going to be hard for you not to show anything on your face.
winter_blues wrote:
Well done - your starting the process in opening the Natwest account. I initially applied and was accepted for a FIRST DIRECT account but after reading the advice on this forum - I quickly applied to NATWEST as First direct scroll thru the IVA register and will close your account within months!. I know several people on here who have told Natwest they are in an IVA and they are fine about it.
So sad to hear about your Dad - it must be making this situation a WHOLE lot worse for you. But Kallis is right - parents don't need to know. My Mum & Dad would have tried to help but I don't want that - I want to settle my debts on my own and come out the other end.
IVA.com will give you the advice on recommended companies. You can't really go wrong on any of the ones listed on there. I rang several at random from browsing the internet but was surprised at the difference on fees etc. Some charge upfront fees. So watch for that.
Basically they will talk through your situation - allow half hour for the call!. They will ask for details of creditors and your income & expenditure so they can work out what you can afford each month i.e SURPLUS to put into an IVA. May be worth jotting down some rough figures so you are not trying to pluck figures out of the sky when you do call. the whole process takes 6-8 weeks so you COULD be in your IVA by March. Have you been up to date with your creditors or have you been missing payments?.
Yes it is making the situation worse because up until 4 months ago I would say to myself "it's only money no one has died" The lying kills me. Not only that, I have 5 children, the eldest is 20 the youngest is 4 months. I have tried to lead by example to the older ones but here I am in a mess! I feel so ashamed. Also we are living in a static caravan as we are renovating. The house is about £8,000 away from being finished, I don't know how we will find that money.
This time last year I had social worker job lined up (on completion of my degree)however, I discovered I was pregant and sat my last exam at 32 weeks pregnant and failed it. I was due to resit but the baby was 4 weeks old and I had just learned that Dad had terminal cancer. In a confused desparate state I quit my degree so that I could support my parents and look after my baby daughter.
We took on the derelict house because we thought I would be returing to work and could then afford to do it up.
Last edited by Kim.70 on Sun Dec 05, 2010 10:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
Don't Kim. For your children's sake - look for that brighter future. You owe it to them and I'm sure you have a lovely family and being in in IVA, try to view as a positive step. I have 3 who are becoming so expensive to bring up as they approach their teenage years!. Just think that youngest one will just have turned 6 when you complete your IVA - time will go so quickly. I can't even imagine how difficult this all is for you but I'm confident that your taking the right step forward in being on here and addressing your financial situation. There is lots of help out there and this forum as you are finding is excellent.
The next few weeks will be very difficult for you but the pressure soon comes off as the IVA firm progress things for you and the creditors are informed.
Can I ask about your mortgage/equity situation as this will be important to the IVA proposal. I take it you and your wife are both in full time employment?..
I have four children the eldest 27 and the youngest 17 and only the 17 year old knows of my situation, your Dad doesn't need to know, you're not lying - more not telling the truth. My eldest ones know I'm using my time now to sort out my finances but they have no idea how. Why I told the youngest I'm not sure but she's very mature and does understand and if the IVA was going to affect anyone it would have been her. You're doing your best to resolve your situation and there is light at the end of the tunnel. x
IVA final payment left the bank on the 26th January 2013...looking forward to a debt free future.
Hi - you'll come through the shame when you realise how hard you are trying to pay off your debts with an iva! There really is no reason to tell your dad, better you enjoy the time you have. My best friend and grandad both have cancer which is only being treated with palliative care and my iva is the last thing I want to waste time talking about. On a more crass note (sorry in advance) inheritance must be paid into the iva to improve your dividend to creditors. How you feel about this may influence your decision and how you go about the iva. I'm sorry to year about your dad and hope he has a lot of living in him yet xx
Kim, please don't feel bad. I have two step children plus my own daughter, and whilst I have tried to instill frugality since being in our IVA as I don't want the same thing happening to them, I might as well bang my head against a wall.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
RHB wrote:
Don't waste that degree, is there a way you could take the final exam again?
Once my head is clear and I can wake up smiling again I will see what I can do. My dream was to train as a social worker and help others but for now I need to concentrate on my family.
Kim, please don't feel bad. I have two step children plus my own daughter, and whilst I have tried to instill frugality since being in our IVA as I don't want the same thing happening to them, I might as well bang my head against a wall.
Hi Kim, I am just starting on this road myself, we have debts of £57k and are going with Melanie's team, they told me they have done IVA's for people with debts of over £400k so ours are a drop in the ocean.
I lost my mum 3 years ago to breast cancer and she had no idea of the debt we were and are in. 6 years ago my brother got into a lot of debt, had the bailiffs take his car and his house was repossessed, the whole family went through hell but mainly because he buried his head in the sand throughout it all and didn't deal with this debts and let it get that far, my parents had bailed them out loads of times and they went through so much there is no way I would have told them what we have been going through as they would have been so disappointed in us, like they were my brother.
I still have my dad but he has no idea and will have no idea, my brother is now debt free after finally paying off the shortfall from the mortgage and getting back on their feet, my dad has always thought I was the 'sensible' one as I supported them all so much while they were dealing with this, it's laughable really that I could talk the talk but not sort our own affairs out!!!
From the information you have already posted Kim, it would appear that you have good grounds for presenting an IVA to creditors, but there will be other options you could consider so best to take professional advice at an early stage. If you are going to try out a few companies, I am sure you will choose the one which you feel will best look after your interests over the next few years.
lem wrote:
Hi Kim, I am just starting on this road myself, we have debts of £57k and are going with Melanie's team, they told me they have done IVA's for people with debts of over £400k so ours are a drop in the ocean.
I lost my mum 3 years ago to breast cancer and she had no idea of the debt we were and are in. 6 years ago my brother got into a lot of debt, had the bailiffs take his car and his house was repossessed, the whole family went through hell but mainly because he buried his head in the sand throughout it all and didn't deal with this debts and let it get that far, my parents had bailed them out loads of times and they went through so much there is no way I would have told them what we have been going through as they would have been so disappointed in us, like they were my brother.
I still have my dad but he has no idea and will have no idea, my brother is now debt free after finally paying off the shortfall from the mortgage and getting back on their feet, my dad has always thought I was the 'sensible' one as I supported them all so much while they were dealing with this, it's laughable really that I could talk the talk but not sort our own affairs out!!!
Your story is as mine. My parents think i am the sensible one too! My sister lost her house through debt and my brother and his wife had serious debt problems. I think they went bankrupt but they have never said.
I try to be a rock for my Dad by making out that me, my husband and children are all just fine but it's exhausting. My 7 year old has just been diagnosed with diabetes and i have a 4 month old. This on top of Dads illness, serious debt and living in a freezing cold static caravan and no hope of completing our house is too much. My mind is a mush!
So sorry about your mum. I can see why you never told your parents. It's about protecting them isn't it?
