Hi all,
I have a question regarding a partner moving in and how it effects my IVA. Background is: After two failed marriages (The last marriage spent living well beyond our means and sticking my head in the sand and just thinking that the spiralling debt would just go away....) I ended up in financial trouble. So two years ago I was left alone and for the first time had to face up to my problems, I rented a flat and took advice and started to face my problems. The IVA is going OK, no real issues etc.
So I am now settled into a regime, I know what money I have the IVA is paid, and it has taught me to rationalise my expenditure etc. Then along comes a lady, I fall in love and all is well. She works part time in a private hospital and currently rents a room close to where she works. We have been an item now for 18 months, she has just found out that she may have to move from her rented accomadation as the landlord is being chased by the inland revenue and he may have to sell his property. I want to ask her to move in with me but I am afraid of what the effects will be on the IVA. She is also in a spot of financial trouble and it seems she may have to declare Bankrupcy (What a pair we make[:D]). Several years ago she was very ill and her marriage failed, her ex took everything and made her sign everything over to him. She was then left with basically her clothes on her back- she run up debts trying to bring up two chidren by herself (The kids are now old enough to leave home and they are both sorted). She now is at the denial stage and I am trying to get her to face up to these issues and deal with them. (Honestly you could not make this up[:0]).
So the question is how will her financial issues impact on me if we move in together. I want to help her so much, but I will not be dragged back after I have finally sorted my finances? I know the response will be speak to your IP but I wanted some real life advice from people who may have been there etc.
Thanks
Last edited by g.bm on Thu Feb 04, 2010 10:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hi Gary
First of all do not put your life on hold because of your IVA. Ask her to move in with you, her financial position won't affect you at all. The only difference may be that your disposable income may change as two can sometimes live cheaper than one.
Good luck and I hope she agrees to move in with you
Regards
All that will happen is that you will be asked to fill in a new I&E.
With the bills being split between 2 it could be that it leaves you with a little bit more disposable income so your payments would be increased.
All I will say is how wonderful that you have a new lady in your life, and is sounds as if she needs you right now. Her moving in with you is unlikely to have much affect on your IVA, and if she needs to go bankrupt best get that over and done with so you are able to make a real fresh start.
I agree with everything said so far. Has she seen this forum? If not get her to just watch for a while and read the posts of others, it was this site and doing just that that made me take what has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.
g.bm welcome to the forum - I would echo what newbeginnings has said, why don't you get your lady friend to look at our forum, we are a friendly bunch (and more importantly we are all in the same boat!), we have some brilliant experts and also people who have taken the bankrupcy route, who will be more than willing to advise her. [:)]
Thanks all,
I have already "steered" her this way, and she has been reading posts and stuff. She then goes away and pretends it's not happening.
If she moves in with me I will have to say that for both our sakes she has to get a handle on her problems. She is not stupid... she knows what she has to do... it's all about making those first steps (As we know).
I was looking at the situation from a purely selfish point of view, on the effect her moving in with me, as I have just steadied my boat and am sailing in the right direction- how much will her moving in rock the boat with regards to my IVA? It has been said that an IVA should not stop you getting on with your life but it,s not easy. I know that her money problems are hers and will not effect my IVA, but she is a part time nurse and has a low income, around half of mine. So I would want her to contribute to the living costs on that basis. She is a fair and honest person and she will pay her way. My concern is that filling a new I&E will not be fair if her income is taken into account, it should be me and her that decides how much she pays not a person looking at my I&E sheet. If that makes sense?
