Me again

hope you guys are all well
heres my full and final offer... if i can get some feedback before putting it through... (most of it copied and pasted

) I did go on about my life story and i dunno if it should be there or not. Thanks guys
Dear Sir/Madam
I would like to formally offer a lump sum payment of £**** as a full and final settlement of my current IVA, this includes 12 months payments in lieu of equity on the house.
I have been advised by my local mechanic that its time that I look into selling/scrapping my car. As you can see from the last MOT there is excessive corrosion on the underside of my car and this is to get worse. Currently I have the car booked to get the exhaust replaced as the back box has popped. There is a knocking noise coming from the rear of the vehicle and a screeching noise coming from the engine. I'm worried as due to the age of the car it's getting more expensive to maintain and don't want to end up in a situation without a car.
A couple of times I was given the opportunity of place the IVA on hold to help me financially, but chose to struggle instead and to get the IVA completed sooner rather than later. Its now becoming very hard financially and emotionally .
I have never breached my IVA and have always fully cooperated with my supervisor.
As agreed I will continue to make my monthly payment until 31/08/17 And then offer the lump sum and conclude my IVA.
The lump sum of £**** is coming from a friends personal saving, on the understanding that it is only available if used to conclude my IVA.
The sum of £**** will only be available if the offer is accepted by the creditors. If rejected I intend that the IVA continue on the currently agreed terms. This offer is made on the clear understanding that, if accepted, all the debts would be settled in full and we would be released from any liability.
I hope creditors will look upon this offer favorably so that I can try and move on in my life.
Would you please arrange a variation meeting and put this offer to my creditors. Please can you include a copy of this letter to the creditors when writing to them?
I understand you will now call a meeting of creditors to consider my proposed variation.
Yours sincerely,
Please note any continued contributions will come off the lump sum if there is a delay in the variation meeting/process as from 31/08/17