Hi Chantal don't take it to heart everyone is entitled to their opinion, we just don't always like to hear it, just go forward finish your IVA then you can look forward to a nice debt free life with your new husband. Good luck
Hiya, what you said and answered was fine. It's the ones that say oh your not entitled to that etc. So what they are saying is I am not entitled to get married and go to Australia as my brother got married and all the family went.As essentially that is all the borrowing covered. Now it is nearly all paid. I had to do it somehow and I was scared to talk to my IP as I was expecting them to say no you can't etc. Now I understand more that IP's are more understanding so I will contact them in the future should I be facedquote]Originally posted by recovering
I think it's more people are concerned about you failing, we were just trying to let you know you are breaching the terms and suggest a way forward.
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font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica">quote:<hr height="1" noshade>Originally posted by Chantal.01
Hiya, what you said and answered was fine. It's the ones that say oh your not entitled to that etc. So what they are saying is I am not entitled to get married and go to Australia as my brother got married and all the family went.As essentially that is all the borrowing covered. Now it is nearly all paid. I had to do it somehow and I was scared to talk to my IP as I was expecting them to say no you can't etc. Now I understand more that IP's are more understanding so I will contact them in the future should I be faced with something I can't get out of. quote]Originally posted by recovering
I think it's more people are concerned about you failing, we were just trying to let you know you are breaching the terms and suggest a way forward.
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font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica">quote:<hr height="1" noshade>Originally posted by thisusernameistaken
font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica">quote:<hr height="1" noshade>Originally posted by abbiesmum2003
Hiya ive read this whole thread and to be honest I dont think youve learnt from mistakes which led to iva in the first place. Youve got catelogues, credit card, had payday loans and still rob peter to pay paul each month. This is not the behaviour of someone whos learnt from mistakes with money and who will survive an iva or life afterwards. I know that sounds harsh but an iva is meant to keep you living within your means and budget for changes in the future and plan ahead for the unforeseen. I think your company have possibly failed you because they should have picked up on the catelogue payments and certainly spotted the overdraft. Im surprised itsnot been picked up on and closed down. You need to revise your I&E with realistic figures you should have a clothing allowance, food allowance, petrol etc etc and have to learn to live within those limits. Im a mum of 3 young children who are constantly growing so neednew clothes, shoes, school uniform, trips, clubs etc etc. Weve had to pull back and plan and put little amounts away for changes in circumstances or bill increases and car service/mot. You are still relying on credit which does not bode well. You have to speak to your IP and see where you stand. I think you have been very lucky not to have been told about a breach. Good luck.
I'm in complete agreement.
I hate to sound like an arse but I think within an IVA you're not 'entitled to a life' in the way that others are; an IVA is a serious decision that has long-term ramifications for your freedom to 'live'. We're asking creditors to write off an often large chunk of debt, and to be racking up additional debt whilst doing that suggests that the mentality adopted for an IVA or bankruptcy in this case isn't the right one.
It's not meant to be easy. You're not meant to have a surplus left over each month. Non-essential spending has to go on hold. I've not bought anything in the last 4 years which wasn't essential to me getting to work, staying warm or staying alive.
I'm sure the OP is a lovely person but in my view her priorities are severely misaligned and I fear she may be doomed to quickly repeat the mistakes of the past.
In fact, reading this thread has made me a little annoyed. If I were the OP's IP or a creditor I would be immensely irritated.so if I came to you as my IP and said I need your help. I am somehow got to find an extra 4000 to go to my brothers wedding and pay for my own what would you have said to me?
Please remember we're in the same boat here but I think I take a different view to you. We've both gotten ourselves into a financial pit and are relying on being 'let off' by our creditors in order to get back on track.
I think the most important thing to recognise is that an IVA should be equated with bankruptcy and that for the purposes of asking 'do I have any money or can I afford this?' the answer is no.
I know that sounds harsh but it's how I view it.
I think there are also differences in the way we've approached our IVAs with regard to our families. I have levelled with mine, including my close friends. I know they won't judge me and will actively support me in getting back on track. It also means that they understand when I say I have to limit any events, meals out, gifts, birthday presents and Christmas. They know I'm living to a very tight budget and their advice and input was invaluable when deciding whether or not this was the right way to go.
Regarding the wedding; I'm not sure whether your mum knows you're in an IVA but I would come clean with her and ask to repay the money AFTER the IVA ends rather than jeopardising it by getting into a position where you're relying on payday loans during it!
Your approach could put all the work you've previously done regarding the IVA at risk and cause it to fail - I'm no IP but I would say that potentially you've breached the terms of the (legally-binding) agreement you made when you entered into the IVA.
Without the IVA you would have had less than nothing - creditors would have come after you for the full amount of the debt and you'd owe probably thousands more than you already do as interest and fees racked up on top.
Regarding things like clothes; I buy cheap T-shirts and such from Asda's George range - they're about £3-4 each but to be honest I've not needed to buy many in the last few years, it's a 'make-do and mend' mentality to make things last. As for the bed; a friend of mine sold a pine frame double bed second-hand for £80 recently. You can get a double mattress with memory foam new on ebay for £75 delivered. It may not be the last word in matress technology but it'll tide you over for a few years until you can buy something better and you'd have a perfectly usable bed for £150.
I don't know you, I don't have anything against you and I hope you're successful in your IVA but from your posts it seems that you haven't adopted the 'I can't afford that..' mentality or found the cheapest possible way of getting by.
I really don't know what to recommend to you regarding your IP - telling them could result in them coming down hard and saying you've breached the IVA. It's serious and all the work you've done over the last three years would be for naught - you'd be back to where you were 3 years ago, owing the full amount plus fees and interest for the last 3 years on top. It's not a situation you'd want to be in (nor would I want to see that happen).
If I were in your shoes now I'd speak to your mum and ask her to wait for your IVA to finish before you repay her. Use what you were paying her to try and get rid of the payday loans and the catalogue (perhaps even ask her to re-borrow what you've paid her already in an effort to clear those as a matter of priority).
I hate to sound preachy but I think you need to take the IVA more seriously than you seem to be doing; it's a legal document and by running up catalogue debt and payday loans you've not adhered to the rules set out in the beginning.
IVAs aren't meant to be easy and despite the frugality and hardships I'm immensely grateful to my creditors that they're willing to write off some 70% of my debt providing I hold up my end of the IVA bargain. As such I've not taken out any credit, I've not been late with payments and I've paid any uplifts due immediately.
I hope you manage to sort things out.
Last edited by thisusernameistaken on Sat Oct 03, 2015 12:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
Hi and thanks for your post, advice etc. Unfortunately I can't tell my family and friends as I am ashamed I had to come down this route in the first place, plus my parents would not understand and would be worried about me. Only my husband knows and that is the way it will stay. You are lucky you felt you could tell your family and friends and that your family are a lot more understanding than mine. I have never missed a payment on it and I have always paid the increases and it ran really well until I had the two dilemmas of two weddings in my life. Really I should have talked to my IP instead of making a big mistake of breaching a legal agreement which like you say could potentially make life even worse for me. I've already settled one of my payday loans now and the other has been set to be cleared by November before my review. Both together with charges was less than 800 pounds. I won't take anymore and I have spoken with my IP firm today and told the my circumstances and that I now support two of us etc and the two weddings and they have taken notes and will be to my supervisor and see what and how they can help. I did also mention that I recently took out a credit card but only with a limit of 250 and the reasons why I felt the need and they have said it shouldn't be a problem if it stays small and is only used like I got it for food and I have promised this and I have to send them regular statements. So hopefully it will all be okay and will continue and complete in two years time. It should do now I know my IP is more understanding than I first thought. I was scared about what I had done. I will always talk to them in times of need from now on. That's what I have learnt from this discussion and not worry so much and panic. Thanks to everyone who has been part of this, even the ones whom have been less understanding, although have explained why. I see it from both sides of the coin and I can see that the creditors would be annoyed if they found out as they will write a good chunk off when actually they could of received more from me if I didn't have and create these extra expenses.
Fair play to you for trying to correct the mistakes. It's not an easy path and it's a shame you're not able to tell your mum the truth for fear of being judged. I know that the support of family has been a major help in getting me through the tougher times.
It might be an idea to say to your mum that you're struggling for cash at the moment and would it be possible to put a hold on paying her back? That way you don't reveal that you're in an IVA and it may give you the breathing space you need to make it work.
You've come this far, some 60% of the way through. It sounds like your IP will work with you to ensure the IVA is successful (it's as much in their interests as anything else!) and I hope you're able to find the zone you can function within financially.
If you're up against it and finding things tough you can always post here. Of course there may be some negative comments (and I can see mine could have been taken that way, even though they were meant constructively) but there's a wealth of very knowledgeable people here who will be able to help make sure you don't make any mis-steps along the way. Those of us who are debtors here seem to experience some strange camaraderie and I've often vented on here or asked for advice before doing something.
I hope the outcome of your conversation with your IP is positive; try to put that aside now and enjoy the weekend.
Thu Oct 01, 2015 9:42 pmKAYKAY wrote:
Does your husband know about the IVA? Do you include his wages in your I&E, as they would need to know about this too. Just wondering if your husband knows, why didn't you wait until IVA completed before getting married? I am not judging here, just wondered. Also I understand your need to go to your brothers wedding, as if you didn't go, then the family would want to know why. I am not condoning this, but understand.
Yes my husband is the only person I told it to and I told him about it right near the beginning of the relationship. I'm not sure why he didn't want to wait but I'm guessing age was a factor as we wanted a family to and he'd of been 46 when the IVA finished and I'd of been 39. But we now have a two year old son. Yes my husbands income and expenses were included in the last few years and the childcare and child benefit was also included in the review of our income and expenditure. But it was all completed in March this year and I received the completed certificate in June and its all dropped off my file now and I'm back to building my credit up and have got two cards both with low limits and I use and pay in full each month and got a catalogue with Littlewoods as we needed a new fridge freezer as obviously wasn't able to save for one and it was a essential item for the home, especially with a two year old. That's also on an interest free and I'm paying the full amount in installments so that it is paid off at the end of the interest free period. So all is good now. Next step is a new house for us now as this 2 bedroom one is too small for the three of us now.
Thu Oct 01, 2015 10:15 pmShining wrote:
Hi Chantel, the ethos of the forum is we are to be non-judgemental so I would never judge but would urge you to talk to your IP openly and honestly about this and that way hopefully you can move forward to work towards finishing your IVA successfully. Congratulations on your marriage.
Thanks. It all finished and completed successfully earlier this year. I paid back about 60% of the debt in total and the rest was written off. I'm now back to managing my credit sensibly with two credit cards with small limits that pay back in full every month and a Littlewoods account that I'm paying the monthly amount needed to pay it off in full before any interest is applied. This is now building up my credit rating again.
