hello,
Please help !! I need advice. I am now at the end of my tether and don''t know where to turn. Before my wife and I had our children we were both fairly well paid, but now we have 3 children from 7 years old to 9 months old and are earning much less than we did before they were born. Inevitabely the debts have increased to over £65K and we are sinking deeper. I fully blame myself for this situation and feel I have let down not only myself but my wife and kids. My wife knows we''re struggling but not to this extent, that''s why I feel such a failure. We never go out or go on holidays and with Christmas coming I just don''t know what to do. Every week I''m just trying pay everyone by borrowing more, and soon I won''t even be able to get the weekly food shopping. I have never in my life felt so stressed, I dread nightime because I know I won''t get to sleep worrying about everything. Would an IVA help us and would we be accepted ??? We both work. I just want to get this sorted but don''t know what to do or where to go. I''ve been reading the forum for a while and the advice given to everyone looked really helpful. Please can you help me???? ...I''m desperate.
Many Thanks, Paul.
There is lots of help avaliable to you. Speak to an insolvency practioner and see what your options are. I personally would reccomend speking to Melanie and her team or you can find reviews of all ip's and their companies on iva.com.
Dont despair there is always a solution. I have seen many feeling as you do coming out the other end after advice and feeling so much better.Please dont think you have let your family down, I'm sure they wouldnt feel that way.
Seek help and dont let the situation worsen. I promise you will feel better and sleep again.
A few weeks ago my husband and I were in the same position with debts of over 80k.
We spoke to a couple of companies and we chose to work with Melanie Giles to propose an IVA, the support so far has been excellent and we hope over the coming weeks to successfully propose our IVA, if not we will take out a DMP. The most positive part of the process is sorting out an achievable budget which accounts for most monthly expenditure. For the 1st time this month I knew exactly what I had available to spend on petrol, food, lunches etc... To not have to juggle credit cards and loans has in itself been a huge weight lifted. I still worry about actually getting the IVA but have decided I just have to trust Melanie and her team and if it is possible they will do their best.
This is a stressful time but you will find this forum invaluable both for information and support.
Take care of yourself and your family.
XX J
7 down 53 to go
The pedal uphill may be hard but remember once you reach the top you can take your feet off and freewheel all the way down!!!
Hi Paul and welcome.
Yes,if suitable and the correct solution for you,an IVA will change your life for the better,without a doubt.
You have taken the hardest decision and that is admitting that you need help. Well done
Your next step is to speak with an Insolvency Practitioner or debt solution company and talk over your situation,all advice will be without cost or obligation.
You could be one step closer to a debt free life
Regards
Hey Paul, I'm so glad that you decided to post. You are not alone and you've taken the hardest step. You are not a failure and you have not let your family down. You all have each other and you now have the forum to help you. Speak to a professional as soon as you can, you will find that there is a solution for you. X
I agree that you need to speak to an Insolvency Practitioner to discuss all options open to you.
Visit www.iva.com for a list of companies to speak to.
Give a couple of them a ring.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
I can tell from your posting that you have had to pluck up the courage to get this far, and therefore taking advice is just another step in the journey. There are bound to be a number of options you can consider, to help relieve you from the debt pressure you are under - which is perfectly understandable given the changes you have had to make to the family budget as a result of the children's arrival. This is quite normal.
Once you have decided whether your budget can cope with the ongoing payments required by an IVA or a DMP, you will find that there will be a little money allowed for hobbies and entertainment, thus enabling you to concentrate on family life without the worry of debt collectors at the door, or nasty letters and telephone calls.
A chat with an insolvency professional may therefore be the best call you make, and with a good wind you might be able to get things in place before Christmas. The very best of luck to you, and do keep posting on the forum as you will find much support here from professionals and people who are or who have been in just the same situation as you.
A big thank you to all of you that replied to my post, I had a good chat with my wife last night and we've decided to take all your advice and consult a professional about our situation. Melanie Giles seems to be very highly regarded and with any luck she might consider helping us. Thanks to you aswell Melanie for taking the time to reply to my post, I will be in touch....I will definately be posting on the forum again for advice, the help and support is invaluable...Thanks again
I would be delighted to help you understand the options available to you both, and know that you will take time to consider all of them to decide what is best for you and your family.
And in the meantime you will find great support from all of the other posters on the forum.
I just wanted to say, I am so pleased you have had a good chat and are on the way already and with Melanie.
I know it doesnt feel like it right now but knowing where you are with money (even though it is a struggle) is such a blessed relief and those lonely dark nights in the depths of despair will be gone. There is nothing more important than your family, they and you are priceless. You can get through anything together, although the goal seems a long way off now, you will soon be on the right road. Also remember when the going gets tough, barriers are something you only see when you take your eye off that goal.
Hi Paul and Lindsay.
Welcome to the forum and I echo everything else others have said. You have already made the most important 2 steps - posting on this forum and involving your wife in the whole process. All of us on this forum have one thing in common - we have all been exactly where you are now. We had our IVA approved just last week and it is the most wonderful feeling.
Best of luck to you and keep us posted with your progress.
Hello again,
Apologies for not posting anything recently but my computer decided to go freaky on me, all sorted now though....thank god !....Another big thank you to everyone for the advice and support, it really does help. Well, the time has come and we've plucked up the courage to face our problem, tonight we will click on Melanie Giles link for an IVA proposal and hopefully things can get sorted. I've spent ages looking through the forum and Melanie and her team seem to work wonders, hopefully she will help us. Can anyone tell me how long roughly the process takes and what happens next......The nerves are starting to kick in now, I'm a born worrier so the wait is going to kill me....Best wishes to you all.
Glad you got your computer sorted, there's nothing worse than being out of contact is there?
Roughly, each IVA takes 6 to 8 weeks from start to finish, but some can take longer. Depends on how long it takes you to get all the paperwork together.
Give Melanies team a ring tomorrow and they will talk through all your options with you and advise you as to the best one for you. They will then tell you what the next step is.
Good luck, and let us know how you get on.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Welcome to the Forum. I was in exactly the same boat as you were mate.... Melanie has now got my IVA in place and life feels like it has started again.
You have done the hardest thing in standing up and facing your problem. I spent years pretending it was ok, borrowing peter to pay paul, thinking that something would just "come up" and make it all right. Well as you know it never does and you find that you just get deeper and deeper. Its nothing to be ashamed of mate... I felt the same way, but have come to terms with it. Its not just your own fault either, irresponsible lending in the last few years by banks have snared loads of us and are now biting the banks back.
Good luck in sorting everything out, the sleep will return, it has for me.
