We're in talks at the moment with an excellent ip and hopefully will be able to go ahead with a proposal. I am absolutely terrified about what's going to happen and what effect it'll have on our lives.
I think in a strange way it will be easier to manage if you know what comes in and and goes out each month, and we don't have any spare money anyway so that won't matter. But what I'm struggling with is the longer term implications. I know that our credit rating wil be badly hit, and I never want any credit again anyway, but can we recover from this and go on to have a 'normal' life?
I'm worrying about how our son will be affected and how we'll be with each other.
I do tend to worry about things anyway and brood a lot, but I just want to find some peace. I actually hope that if all works out as I think it will, then over the course of the 5 years we will pay back the vast majority of our debt, if not all but even so I feel dreadfully guilty about having to take this step. Has anyone else felt this way and can you give me any advice on how to cope?
pap-i know exactly how youre feeling-ask sam at mels place how many times ive called like a jibbering wreck ! [:)]
if anything the iva will help-you will get peace of mind-no more creditor nonsense and it doesnt seem it now but in time you will feel good-knowing youre not having to use credit to live.
STOP feeling guilty. ive beat myself up too much over that. ok you have debt BUT like the responsible person you are,are making headway sorting it.
i wish my earlier posts were available-they might be-ive never sounded like such a wreck,feeling bad.
youre vunerable now. i was there last november-its out of your hands feeling you have no control.
trust me this passes. even me-only approved december 29th get a little wobbly.
you will feel like this cut yourself some slack.
you are a special person with a special company and they will look after you and do their upmost for you like they did me x [:)]
You are not on your own, I think most of us have felt like this at some time or another, so don't feel bad.
5 years is a long time to have to budget, and you will find it hard sometimes when everything seems to breaking down at once and you don't know where the money is coming from to pay for it.
You will go back to a 'normal' life, you can build your credit up again if you so wish, you will have a lot of disposable income left once your IVA has finished, but I doubt you will want to go and splash it around, just be happy that you have some.
You might even be able to have a holiday - a lot of posters on here do the Sun £9.50 holidays and swear by them.
As long as you are strong for each other, your relationship should be ok, and it shouldn't affect your son at all.
Good luck with your proposal.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
We have only been in our IVA since Dec but already the relief we feel is immense.
I went through the same emotions when we were considering our options and I am sure many others will say the same. I think it is all part of the process and only you will fully know your own circumstances and if an IVA is right for you.
Our home is much less stressed now and although we have to budget it is easier than the constant worry and juggling credit cards.
I hope you and your family find the right solution and a debt free future.
Take care
J
7 down 53 to go
The pedal uphill may be hard but remember once you reach the top you can take your feet off and freewheel all the way down!!!
let me tell you something everything you are feeling now, me and my husband have felt..... i have two girls 12 and 14 and i cannot tell you the guilt i have felt about the situation we have got into my husband is dealing with things a lot better than i am but i will say this to you, you are so not alone and with the help of forums like this it does help and to be able to talk to people makes you realise that maybe we have been foolish in the past but we want to make a difference for the future. Please keep in touch we have our hearing next thursday 11.00 and i am scared..... its not something i am used to. me and my husband paul have been together for 23 years and believe me we haqve struggled to have to go through this now is now is hard.... and everybody may have their own opinions as to why you have got into this situaion but believe me there is always a good reason.... I know..x x
Never be scared to say that you are concerned about the debts and the process of the IVA. this demonstrates how important it is to you to find a solution, and make the job of your IP far easier in working with you to put the right proposal forward.
My front-line team of Angela, Samantha and Claire are trained to deal with worried clients, and you should phone them or me as many times as you need to in the weeks leading up to the calling of the creditors meeting. This, to be quite honest, is what we are here for - and clients who make no contact at all or express concerns about whether they are making the right decision, probably have not thought things through as thoroughly as you are.
