I can only echo what others have said, this is a temporary problem that can and will be solved. As Tina says the Samaritans can be a great listening ear and a great outlet to how your feeling at the moment, also your GP can also help and is the gateway to support services available to you.
Please do let us know your ok
Thinking of you
Arty
IVA completion and certificate received 08/10/2012!!!
Hi Jilly.09. Welcome to the forum. when I read your post, I have to say "good on you Jill.09". I say that because through all this sense of hopelessness, you sought out this forum and posted your message here. Believe me Jill.09 - you've found the right place. The fact that you are still seeking advice/help regarding your awful situation shows that you are looking for a way out of this - other than suicide. What you have done and said here is MASSIVE. Please continue to post on here. You will get the support AND practical advice you need right now. There are so many people on here - posters, campaigners, experts etc who are just magnificent, and are on here all hours of the day and night. They have helped me tremendously, and I know others feel the same. You have sound reasons for your F & F being accepted, and also to keep a significant portion to transition to a new home. Stand firm with your offer, and I am sure you will get what you need. Please come back on here, as we are all rooting for you, and would like know how you are and how things progress. x
IVA journey started: 30th March 2009. Settled: 17th July 2012. Completion Certificate received: 13th March 2013. Breathe. x
Jilly don`t give up. A lot of us on here have been driven to the edge with the stress, and the impact that can have on relationships.
In my case I went onto antidepressants 3 years ago and it helped me through the worst and gave me the focus to sort things out. I`m still on them and never want to go back to that place, somewhere similar to where you are now I expect.
Things do get better with the right support.
Have you got any help from you GP ?
Let us know how you`re getting on.
I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through.
I had to post on here to you. As everyone has said you do now have friends on here who will offer you support and empathy, plus there are experts on here who will help and advise you.
Like you I had a relationship breakdown, was a single mum for 2 years and had to move out of the family home so my ex could move his new friend into my house. I was very hard up and living hand to mouth with my daughter. This left me at a very low point. It does seem like everything is on top of you when this happens and this coupled with all the other pressures can seem like life is too much sometimes. As pointed out above the creditors and debt are not worth your life. Life will get better, I promise. Continue to reach out for support.
Please post on here again. Everyone here would love to support you, whether emotionally or technically in relation to the VA. Take care Sam
hy
please seek help ....go to gp or practice nurse ? tell a friend ....been in debt and marriage breakdowns are stressful ,i understand how your feeling been in both situations but not at same time.please try to speak and share what your feeling ...if you want to make me your frugal friend i can support you off line ....
Hi Jill.09. Been checking on here to see if you've posted. Even though you haven't yet, I hope you are reading the messages to you, and perhaps made contact with an expert for concrete advice. x
IVA journey started: 30th March 2009. Settled: 17th July 2012. Completion Certificate received: 13th March 2013. Breathe. x
Hello lovely people
thankyou so much for all your messages of support, I am so grateful, and its so sad that so many of us have to go through these rough times, my heart is broken right now and I dont want to fix it, its too hard and too much for me, I have just spoken to my lawyer who has only just got a copy of the land registry of my house which has a restriction placed on it from IP, this has taken her 3 weeks haha!!!! I then spoke to IP who tells me that my solicitor would not speak to them without my permission, (never been asked for my permission) I asked her why she has not approached me before either by letter or phone, so she has done that today, so for 3 weeks I have been waiting for someone to tell me what is going on, only to find out that NOTHING has been done. In these times of fast technology I am appalled at the lack of communication between each other, and if I had not phoned today, when would they have realised. I broke down in my kitchen and smashed about 4 cups, and now I have opened a bottle of whisky, once again thankyou all for your support. Hopefully someone will learn from my experience, they say money is the root of all evil, and now I know why. God bless you all xxxxx
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Hi Jilly.09. Great to hear back from you. I would say "cheers" to you for venting your frustration - especially after finding out nothing's been done - but there are no cups left!! Seriously though - it must be so frustrating for you, because it is so important for you to get things moving as quickly as feasibly possible. So - have your (tot?) Whisky, and I hope the warm feeling you get from it actually equates to the 'fire in your belly' that you need right now. Be prepared to have to chase, chase chase for what you need. It takes time and energy, but don't let up. If your Solicitor can assist - let her! If you have a trusted person in your life, have you thought given them permission to advocate for you if/when it gets too overwhelming? Once again Jilly.09 - thanks for checking in with us - your new 'forum peeps'. x
IVA journey started: 30th March 2009. Settled: 17th July 2012. Completion Certificate received: 13th March 2013. Breathe. x
You have now found a whole new bunch of friends, and professional support, who can help you through this. Please use us to vent out your frustration out on, and to offer good words of support and advice over the next few weeks. Nothing is as bad as it seems, and things will only get better over time.
I know it hard - but try and be strong - it will work out for you, i'm sure. Everyone on this forum is here for you and most have been through similar 'hard times' but have come out the other end. xxxxxx
Jilly 09 reading your post takes me back to 2007 when my life was that black. Like you I had to sell my house because my husband and I where stuggling. With the profit from the house we cleared some bills and rented from private landlord we had two young daughters. Then in May 2008 my husband informed me that he was leaving me he had been having an affair for 4 years and they were expecting their first baby in September 2008. I entered my IVA in August 2008 because I didn't have the same disposable income. In November 2009 my ex had a baby boy (I had lost 4 boys in the course of our marriage) I just broke I could take any more and I tried to take my life. I ended up in more trouble with social workers etc and my two daughters were in bits. Like you I didn't want to fix it I had, had enough by then. But 4 years on and I am glad I got the help from my doctor and family. I am happier now than I have ever been. My ex and his girlfriend have spilt up and we get on better than we ever had as friends and we spend our weekends together as friends with all three children. I am sorry for the long post but I hope it helps in some way. Life is worth living but it is hard to see it at the minute. Please keep talking it is the best medicine.
