Foggy - you just reminded me I have a bottle of beer cooling in the fridge!
Hi Ox - we haven't met before but you sound a lot like me. When I have a problem I become obsessed and can't stop myself going round in circles. Two things helped. I took Citaloptam for a short while and it stops the obsessing...I hope it works for you. The other was CBT and without going too in depth, when you feel you start going in circles or thinking the worst ask yourself three questions. What is the worst that can happen? How likely is it? What's more likely to happen? It helps to break the pattern of negative thinking and helps put the brakes on when yur mind runs away with you. Glad you had a nice day today!
Ive taken my three girls snd the eldest foster girl to a local open farm where theyve petted animals and held snakes and a chincilla!!!! We had lovely picnic in the sun. Came home and hubby roasted a chicken on the BBQ for dinner! lol!
Oh and then a hot air balloon passed over so low the kids got waved at by the crew so we got in the car and followed it only for it to land on the road not far from us!!!!
There seems to be a post gone missing I had a mail that said there was one from someone and now its gone
Anyway end of day now and all is quiet, bit tired sounds like everyone has had fun. We did
It has made me cherish what we have with the children even more today and I have to fight to protect this
I need to keep my home I will be so upset if we lose it, but still cant get that thought out my head yet. As stated earlier can we survive even if the IVA gives us a lifebelt, sometimes I worry that we have gone too far and too big on just my salary which has come down due to market conditions and that there will be no coming back from it. The family would not survive BR. I really worry about the future and now its quiet it all sneaks back onto me
Also having the creditors hanging there at the moment is also stressing me out.
Anyway off to bed work tmw and have to get my game face back on.
Last edited by Ox1987 on Mon May 06, 2013 10:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Thing the positivity has been used up at the weekend not sure how I am going to concentrate
I am worried about the fact that if this is not accepted then we will have no choice really but to go bankrupt and the implications of that. Also are we kidding ourselves that we can survive post the IVA on just my salary as it is a lot lower than before. The fact is that we have nearly 1500 in mortgage payments from a salary of net 4000 a month it leaves it very tight. I also worry we would not survive a BR and i would not be able to work etc
How can i concentrate at work with this always on my mind, never mind also the fact that we have all the creditors wanting their money Not going to go round in circles but need to talk.
Last edited by Ox1987 on Tue May 07, 2013 6:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
Morning Ox. Lets not jump the gun here. We can cross bridges later when we have to. Think of these two facts
1. IVA`s that are proposed have a success rate well in the 90% range.
2. Our mortgage payments are similar to yours with a much lower net income.
As long as you keep making a small step each day eventually the creditors will stop pestering.
Set yourself one small IVA progress objective today and achieve it. What could it be?
Morning Ox. Hope youve slept well. I know how worried you are re: house but if it becomes that bad and you lose the house is it such a big deal?? We love our house. Its the only home ever owned. Our first home. All three children born and raised but if push comes to shove its bricks and mortar. We move out and as long as we are together we will make a home elsewhere. My mate is 'worrying' about our 54 month equity and 'what will we do' but if we have to we will move. We needed a solution NOW. Cant worry about what may happen in 2/3/4 years time. If didnt do iva now we would not have survived and would by now be BR due to drop in income since xmas.
The house is your home but its the love and people in it that makes a house a home.
I understand that but i am back playing the scenario that we could lose the house and there is negative equity, so we would have to go BR and then I would not be able to work. So we would have to look for social housing if they would give it us and spend my days on benefits as I am not trained for much other than what I do.
I am concerned that I could waste my degree education and accountancy training over debts. Can accountants also really do an IVA and not affect their jobs. I know this is a bit of the same again but I cant help it. I sometimes feel BR is inevitable and that the family would not survive it. I felt part of my family again yesterday but struggling today again
Sometimes i feel like throwing the towel in, is our offer really any good
Do the creditors decide purely on the financial return or do they consider the situation
I feel like i make a step forward and then ten back and then go round obsessed and panicked, but lets push forward and try not to go round in circles. I am the same as Denise so sorry but please understand
Last edited by Ox1987 on Tue May 07, 2013 8:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
I agree Abbiesmum. I wouldn't want to lose my house but at the end of the day it's somewhere to live and, providing I had my family (in my case hubby and my cat!), I could make a home somewhere else especially if it meant I wasn't struggling to pay a large mortgage.
Regarding your job, I thought you had already spoken to your employer and they were ok about your situation?
Ox, if your offer wasn't any good, Mel wouldn't be making it. Don't forget she is doing a lot of work and will only get paid if it is accepted, so she must be confident.
Creditors have been known to accept offers of less than 10 pence in the pound, according to the circumstances. With your house in negative equity they will know that there is no profit to be gained by you going BR, so don't even go there.
In reality your mortgage payment, as a percentage of your net income, is about the same as us lesser earning mortals pay in rent / mortgage. It is all relative. You WILL survive.
My opinions are merely that .. opinions based on experience. Always seek professional advice.
IVA Completed 23rd July 2013 .... C.C. 10th January 2014
