Hi - feeling sad (sorry longish post)

[Pap]

Hi

Hope it's ok to put this here, I've just got back home from the vets where we have had to have our gorgeous 12 and a half year old retriever put to sleep.
He's been slowing for a while now, but he developed dementia and over the last 24 hours when downhill rapidly. This morning he was unable to stand, his back legs just wouldn't work and he was obviously starting to get stressed.
Before my son left for school I told him to say goodbye, just in case, and the sight of my 6foot plus, 17 year old strapping son standing with tears streaming down his face just about broke my heart. He has had to go through so much in the last 3 years I honestly do not know how he keeps on going, he's such a strong brave boy.
The vet took one look at the dog and started to talk about difficult decisions, how they could do some tests but she was doubtful they could even make him comfortable, and talked about the effects of dementia in dogs, the latest thinking on treatment vs euthanasia etc and said that our responsibility was to do what we felt right for our dog and given what we had said about his deterioration, there was no right or wrong decision, but I think she was very much of the mind we should let him go. We'd already come to that difficult conclusion. So this morning we stood cuddling and petting our dog as the vet gave him an injection. It was very peaceful, and over in seconds, but another link to our late son is broken.
Have phoned work and taken day off as hubby is very distressed and I need to be here for when son returns as he will also be distraught.
What a bummer of a day - this time of year (Sept/Oct) is awful for us already and this just adds to it.

Sorry for long post but needed to get this out, hubby has gone to bed as he's working nights at the moment so there's no-one around for me to talk to.

Thanks for 'listening' and sorry for going on and on.

Hope you're all having a better day than us

P x

[Skippy]

Oh Pap, I'm so sorry. I'm at work at the moment and read your post trying not to cry.

It's hard enough to lose a pet anyway, but when the pet was a link to someone you love it makes it even worse.

Please don't apologise, you're not going on, we're all here to support you. I don't blame you for taking the day off, you need to grieve as a pet is a member of the family.

I know it's no comfort to you at the moment, but you gave him a happy life and you did the best thing for him at the end, you didn't let him suffer.

Lots of love and hugs to you all xxx

[size5]

Such a heartbreaking decision to have to make and my thoughts and sympathies are with you and your family at this time

It is never easy but please try and focus on the fact that you have done the right thing by your beloved pet.

Regards.

[Julie]

Oh Pap - like Skippy, I'm in work and trying not to cry when reading your post. Its so sad and I feel for you and your family. You have suffered so much.

Please try to remember the good times you had with your gorgeous retriever and take comfort in the fact he had a loving long life with a family that obviously loved him to bits.

This forum is only ofr debt, we're a family here to support each other, so please don't grieve alone.

My heart goes out to you xx

[Wizzzard]

I feel for you Pap ... I lost 2 of my cats last year and one of my budgies ... it really tears at the heart when you lose much loved friends and companions, but the strange thing is as time goes on all you remember are the glad times. Thinking of my lost pets brings a warm glow to my heart, I hope this happens for you too.

[Pap]

Thank you all so much for your support. Once again I'm overwhelmed at the kindness and compassion shown here.
He did have a good life, he was well cared for and loved and we will miss him so much.
The other 2 dogs have noticed he's not here and are very subdued, but on another level I'm sure they knew that the time was near. On Wednesday evening he was lying quietly on the floor by the couch and the other 2 came up to him and sat tight up against him for ages, just being beside him. It may sound fanciful but I felt then that they were telling us it was close.

Thanks again, I don't know what I'd do without this forum and I really really hope that one day I'll come on and say something cheerful, life can't keep on being horrible forever....

P x

[kallis3]

Pap, I have just caught up with this, and I am so, so sorry that this has happened. It has been twelve months since we had to have our beloved lurcher put to sleep, so we have been remembering her this weekend. I have a lump in my throat and do understand just how difficult it is for you.

Are you going to be able to make FF? It would be good to meet you.

[Julie]

Just realised my post read " the forum is only for debt"....off course I meant its NOT only for debt [:I][:I]sorry! I really shouldn't post with tears in my eyes.

hope your son is okay when he comes home Pap.

[Shining]

Pap can I just say I feel for you and am fighting back tears as I type. I have a lovely poem written by an unknown author which may have words of comfort for you and your family, I don't want to post it to cause any further distress but if you want a copy I will email it to you, I find it comforting as do the members of the doggie forums I belong too.

My thoughts are with you and your family x

[kallis3]

I hadn't noticed what you had posted Julie, so Pap probably hasn't. I'm sure she would have realised what you meant though.

It is so sad when you lose a much loved pet - we have lost three dogs in the past fifteen years, and it doesn't get any easier. We just have to remember the good times we had with them.

[freelili]

I am so sorry hunny, I did make a long post this morning but lost the net. I wanted to say, if anyone deserves a good cry its you, if anyone deserves to be sad its also you. I know its a cliche but time and all that. (I know I felt like hitting the person who said that to me). Well youre all lovely and also very loving towards each other, thats priceless hun and there will be plenty who will envy that. Its going to be hard for a time, you just hang on to each other, youre hearts may be broken but dont let it break that special bond you all have. That lad of yours, oh hun, I am welling up, my big un cried when our cat died and I cant bear to see them upset.

Big hug to you all.

and lots of love, rest in peace little doggy, you will be sadly missed but were lucky enough to have a family who loved you enough to let you go. Your doggy would say thank you for everything if he could, I am sure of that.

[kallis3]

That's lovely Lily.

[Pap]

Thank you all.
Today's been hard, there's been tears from all of us but I know we did the right thing.
You've all said some lovely things that have really helped.
When you have pets you know they're going to go sometime but it doesn't make it any easier when it happens and, because I signed the papers today, I fel really guilty about it, but there really wasn't any choice.
Son is ok, was sort of expecting to come home and find dog gone but still sobbed his heart out and that's really hard, seeing your kids hurt and upset.
Julie - I knew what you meant about the forum being for allsorts and not just debt so please don't worry.
Jan - I'm not sure yet if we'll be able to come the the FF but if there's any way we can then we will be there. It would be great to meet some of the lovely people on here.
Thank you all for everything, you're all very special people.

P x

[kallis3]

It's very hard. We've been through it several times now and it doesn't get any easier. Just concentrate on the good times you have had together.

I hope you can come to FF, it would be lovely to meet you.

[plasticdaft]

So sorry for your loss Pap,we lost our little dog in june and the wife had to have her horse shot 3 weeks ago!!!(a cracked tooth turned out to be a tumour in her jawbone),so we know where you are coming from.
The thing with having pets is,you have to know when the time is right,because the animal wont tell you. The other thing is for some reason no matter how hurt you feel,losing a much loved pet never seems to put us off getting another(the wifes best friend helped her buy a replacement horse within a week of losing hers).

Life without pets would be a more lonely place,a less fun place,a place where I wouldnt want to be.

Tearfully Paul
XX