Advice for Ox

[Ox1987]

I am trying luluj but its hard
I think I am over the questions on the iva and that debate just more worried over the future as I am only 38 and there is a long time to go hopefully but then again I could get run over by a bus tmw
Sons birthday tmw so need to focus on that also

[Shining]

I'm 51 and just out of an IVA you've your whole life ahead of you to watch those beautiful children grow up

[luluj]

Ox ...you really have got to stop worrying .... you have so much going for you - I would die to be in your position and be a parent to three beautiful children - you will sort your debt issues out with the help of Mel and her team - so please focus on your what is the most important set of people in your life - your wife and young family !
Believe me I would give anything for a child - that was my reason for entering debt - something I longed for then and still long for now - they are precious moments every day that bring a smile to your face - don't miss those moments through worry !

[admin]

Hi folks
We've moved this thread to the friends section. The 'ask a question' section is ideally reserved for people who need succinct and reliable advice in a quick and easy to find format.

The 'friends' section was introduced for long threads where the wonderful support and encouragement from many posters can be found.

We hope this is OK ?

[luluj]

Good move admin ... Ox will still receive the ongoing support he currently craves whilst new questions will easily be seen and recognised.

[Hyperdrive]

Well I have to say I totally disagree with this. I hope Ox realises where the thread has gone, because I certainly had trouble working out where it was - it simply disappeared. Totally needless, insensitive and uncaring in my opinion. Or shows complete ignorance of how someone with depression could be made to feel.

Ox, did you make that appointment with the GP ?

[Ox1987]

The GP had no appointment will have to get one for tmw as today is sons birthday

Was feeling a bit more positive but main concern is less about the debt but more about the fact that as being young which has been noted I have a long time to pay on my mortgage and will I be able sustain my job and career especially with IVA on record I think my confidence has taken a bashing and my dreams of being a FD somewhere have probably gone.

I dont know what is wrong with me but I lie in bed this morning and feel like my body is burning up especially across the shoulders etx

Luluj I understand what you are saying but that is why I worry so much to make sure I can home, feed and clothe my children and do so for the next 16 years or so I am sorry about your issues also

Somehow am I thinking I may get ignored down here lol

[Foggy]

Hyperdrive - I use the "last 250" posts button which highlights all new posts no matter where they are, so moving this thread should not mean it will get lost.

[Ox1987]

I have got to stop seeing an iva as a death sentence and foxus on the future and see it as a fresh start like alot of you do well
We can make this work and look back in 10 years and see it as a blip in life that we can learn from
Concentrate on what is important and there are more important things than money and debt.

[Foggy]

Definitely Ox -- and keep snapping that band when needed ( I think I could do with one of those -- probably around my neck!)

[Ox1987]

Thanks Foggy sometimes I think I am kidding myself with the above as I worry the I&E is very tight but then when we have 550 a month just for food and for some people that is half their wage. I just cannot get the fear out of my head
I am not sure whether this is more a early mid life crisis than totally set around the debt
Why would the team propose this if it was not viable to live afterwards
I just worry about the implications on my career and future prospects as an accountant
I had big ambitions but not sure they have not gone now

[Foggy]

Ox .. without going into the detail .. I. too, had big hopes and dreams which were just beginning to pan out. 4 weeks ago they were ripped from me. Yes, I was disheartened, but, like you, I have family to care for, so it's a case of looking on it, as I said before, not so much as a painful end to those dreams, but a painful new beginning to new dreams.

Like you. it's a bit early for the new dreams to surface, but they will, I am sure.

[Ox1987]

But if the IVA is rejected then I would have no choice but to probably go BR and that would lose me my job, house and future and destroy all our lives. And of course reading Goffys post dont help
On top of that I am paranoid that the IVA will somehow destroy our lives also with having it on the record will I struggle to get future work. Its is my sons birthday and I still struggle to focus on what is important. And yes I am going round in circles

[Foggy]

Yes, you are, Ox ... snap that band.

This is one reason all this posting isn't always a good thing. It is great to offload .. but off load and leave it there, don't keep picking it back up again.

[Ox1987]

I know Foggy but cannot help it at all I want to focus on the family but struggle as I cannot see past the debts etc and the negative side of it all. With my chosen career will it really not be affected I think I can keep this job, however will new employers ask about IVA.
It is now affecting every bit of my life, home work etc.
I know I should not worry so much about rejection but I cannot help it