phone calls

[Abby]

thanks for all your replies it helps,our problem is our daughter is 18 and if the phone goes and she answers and i say i am not in she thinks its funny to hand it over,another decision to make, do i sit her down and tell her everything, cant bear the thought, i already feel such a failure.x

[Soulgrowth]

If you don't she might think that you are hiding things from her and imagine all kinds of things. You should be proud of what you are doing.

Debbie

[Abby]

debbie
you are right, she is already wondering why i am so miserable all the time, i try to act normal but it takes over. just handed over £10 for her to get some wine for a party. lol, need to start saying no.x

[plasticdaft]

Abby I am afraid that the sooner your daughter finds out the better,your debt problems do not make you a failure. You may well take a few years to sort your debt out and by allowing your daughter to become aware of your situation you may well give her a timely lesson in life. I wish someone had warned me not to get 7 credit cards!!!

[Abby]

plasticdaft you are so right, my head tells me to tell her but my heart doesnt want to worry her, if i tell her maybe she will beleive me when i say i wont be buying her a car when she passes her test.x

[Til]

i would agree with telling her - wish like mad someone had set me that example - my daughter is only 2 so not the same situation but will defo tell her when she is old enough as a warning. you should be proud of yourselves for sorting it out [:)] Good luck x

[Abby]

iknow what your saying is right,i will tell just need to pluck up the courage. god what a mess. BUT only myself to blame. thanks for all the advice guys.xx

[Soulgrowth]

It's always good to have the support of your family at a time like this ... and family 'secrets' are always unhealthy.

You need to approach this from the positive view that you are taking responsbility for your financial position ... don't beat yourself up Abby.

Debbie xx

[orchid5]

before my IVA was in place i wrote to all my creditors and included a payment of what i could afford, i never heard from any of them, was i just lucky, i think i probably was to be honest having read through this thread. I am a great believer in honesty is the best policy but having had an ex hubby who was always in debt i know exactly where you are all coming from, dreading the phone ringing and the postman arriving, all is well now phew roll on the next 4 years, 12 down 48 to go!

[Mazzall]

I agree, definately tell her. I am currently expecting and with what we are going through at the moment, one of the lessons we will be teaching this little one is to steer clear of debt. I wish that I had been given this advice and wouldn't wish this on anyone. You are doing a very brave thing facing up to it all. As for the calls, we have been receiving around 2 months of relentless calls and have ignored nearly every one of them, my husband answered my phone when I was going through pregnancy complications and asked them to stop calling and they actually did. The mobile phone calls have all but stopped but at one point I was receiving around 16 per day on my mobile alone. We receive around 6 per day on the house phone, caller ID helps sort out the good from the bad. My husband answers his mobile as he needs to for business but if it is any creditors tells them he has sold the phone on and not to call again. That also worked. Doesn't work for the house phone.I do wonder if they keep a log of how many times they get a response. Turning the volume down, or pulling the phone out is very liberating and we did this for a about a month. Good luck with everything and don't let the phone calls get you down, answering these calls won't help, not answering them won't hinder your IVA.xxx

[Abby]

thanks for all the feedback guys.xx

[Soulgrowth]

That's what we're here for [:)]

Debbie

[Endsmeet]

All I can add is that pre IVA I sent a template letter supplied by my I.P. to each of my creditors (8 of them) along with a token payment.

I only received a couple of phone calls and just the one letter which I passed onto my I.P. but maybe I was just lucky as my IVA only took 6 wks from start to creditors meeting, so even thou I reckon the letters that I sent may have put a couple of creditors 'on hold', I don't think that I really know for sure.[?]

[kallis3]

You were lucky endsmeet. I, too, sent the template letters and still got the same amount of calls and letters.

They did stop the day we got the IVA though.

[Endsmeet]

You were lucky endsmeet. I, too, sent the template letters and still got the same amount of calls and letters.

Maybe I was lucky, the funny thing was that my main creditor LTSB, didn't ever get in touch with me pre IVA but about one month afterwards they phoned me from a call center insisting monies etc, they wouldn't take no for an answer (maybe the Indian call centers haven't got up to speed with IVAs yet) so a quick call to my I.P. and it was sorted out, even a personal letter from the manager of LTSB apologising for the mistake...