took me 5 months to build up the courage to post

[aguise]

Rob its not a case of being biased ,just a case of not judging every book as having the same cover. If someone is wrong we will say so, but still we dont judge them or criticise. It is a debt forum it wouldnt be much use if we all answered everything with well you shouldnt have done that you shouldnt have this. We all make mistakes, we all are unfortunate at times. We try to help that is all, someone is in debt and at least have the courage to face it and try to deal with it, and hopefully after we are better more caring and understanding people for it.
My iva is going well I dont have to be here answering questions, I could be watching eastenders wow (sorry any fans ), I know the stress I know how it feels, you cannot it seems comprehend any of this. We nearly all work hard to pay what we can back, and we do suffer for it.
Please show a little understanding.

Ang

[Edwina]

I would like to add that whilst what I have said about horses and valuable pets may sound harsh, unfortunatley it is a sad fact of life that when indebtedness comes calling at our door the things we love most have to take a back seat. I do not believe for example that a wine lover who subscribed to the tune of £150 per month would be allowed to continue if proposing a VA. Now of course wine is an inanimate object and a horse is not, an probably not a good comparrison, but it is an expense at the end of the day.

In addition, and I agree that seeing an IVA through to the end is difficult to say the least, and that is something that somehow has been tarnished in respect to the whys and wherefores of an IVA. It was designed to assist through a financial crisis not make it a roses round the door escape.

I do, believe or believe it not have feelings for people that are or have experienced a financial fall as I have done myself so I speak from experience. However the sale of a treasured animal was effected, and I cried an ocean and still grieve for my lovely boy, I understand but facts are facts, and it is about time we all woke up and acknowledged that *****footing around delicate subjects isnot the way forward. I too had all the trappings, sky TV, two nice cars, a lovely house all of which are gone, and now it is time to get off my backside and start again to build finacial stability in order that I can enjoy all of that again.

[aguise]

Edwina is that not what we are trying to do.

Ang

[Edwina]

Sorry, your meaning Ang?

[aguise]

Refering to your last sentence.

Ang

[rob.m]

hallelujah - someone's finally got it !!!!

Having an IVA is nothing to be ashamed of - but so many people just cannot accept the severity of the cutbacks they SHOULD be making before using this last resort option.

Hopefully people can emerge at the end of it and start to rebuild their lives - well done Edwina, you have my utmost respect and I wish you every success.

If you have children I'm sure they've leant a valuable lesson that you sometimes have to make difficult sacrifices in life - Im sure they will grow-up stronger as a result.

Rob

[Edwina]

Hi

Yes Ang I believe firmly that anyone who has suffered a financial crisis learns from it and set their sights for the future of course. But at the time of the crisis most people do not know which way to turn, and are reliant on those who have the knowledge to guide them through. It would appear that in respect to the IVA process there would seem to be a great deal of masking of the real issues.

Over the last few years there has been an influx of numerous companies that are treating the IVA process as a sales pitch, and transparency has now become an opague mask.

It is I think important to realise that an IVA is not as I said before a roses around the door escape.

Edwina

[aguise]

Anyway Rob
I'm gonna put me clogs on and go to the workhouse with me bread and water Sleep well I will return to my straw bed in the morning and start all over again.
Thought that was what you'd like to hear [:D]
I'm going to work .
Ang

[Edwina]

Hi Rob

I thank you for your response. However my response has not been intended to "have a go" at those suffering a financial crisis. I have responded to illsutrate that an IVA is a process that is as stated previously a way forward which carries consequences which for the most part and amongst other importnat factors, require looking closely at income and expenditure and lifestyle and is merited on a case by case basis. Anyone thinking of an IVA who beleive that their lifestyle will not change are being misled.

Edwina

[lily]

Rob I am speaking fron experience of someone who is in debt and a great many others who will have been through the same, not only here but future members. Its is Hell waking up and going to bed with all of this, I doubt if there is a single person here who hasnt cried, prayed and wished for another way. It effects every aspect of your life and believe me shame comes and brings its army. That is why many of us get out of our depth by trying other measures such as consolidation loans etc. IVA's are only available for insolvent people, the only other way is BR. I really doubt you can speak from experience and I hope you never have to, unless you have been there how can you ever know????



lily

[admin]

Yes the heading has been changed to reflect that this is not a forum about one indidual item which may or may not be allowed, but a forum to support and help people who are facing life changing events with courage and honesty... and an immense and awe-inspiring talent of positively caring for others....creating a totally non-judgemental haven

[lily]

I hope you never make any mistakes like the ones we have, we have hindsight, but no way are we taking the P or getting off lightly.

There are people much less fortunate than yourself who do not have your financial ability, whether they have a horse or not, they do not deserve to be judged.

lily

[lily]

Well said admin



lily

[aguise]

Yes thanks admin.
Really am going to work now.
Ang

[BlueShoes]

Hello
I truly hope that the horse owner is permitted to keep her much loved pet, and that the creditors are sympathetic to her situation.

rob- I think you will find that most people enter into an IVA as a last resort, and it is not a situation that is taken lightly. Some of us are lucky in life, and never have to deal with unforeseen financial circumstances; and some of us are less so.
I am not saying I wouldn't have done things differently, but hindsight is a gift.
As a family we will have to live with the consequences of our debts for some time, but we, like others on the forum are at least admitting that our situation is critical, and are doing something positive about it in order to secure a brighter future for our children.
I suspect, like ourselves, other forum posters feel enough shame and guilt, without being harangued for their mistakes/poor choices/bad luck.
We can't all be perfect. The world would be very dull if we were.
Blue