Want to have a moan

[e.h]

Hi all

Hope everybody's okay. Just wanted to have a moan off today. In our second year of our IVA and I have to say at the moment it is really getting me down. I am trying very hard to stay positive about it all.

I know that we have been given a second chance by our creditors to pay them back what we owe and for that we are so, so grateful, but just sometimes it gets to be a bit much when you work really hard (both myself and my husband put in a lot of hours) and we still never have any money, and we're sweating every month and living for pay day.

Sometimes, like now, I just feel like giving up. Today I could quite easily "walk away", just disappear.

Sorry to be so negative today, but just wanted to get it off my chest.

Thanks

Liz

[Lisa2009]

Dont apologise, its pretty normal the way you are feeling right now. We have all had bad days.
The main thing is to keep telling yourself it will be worth it in the end and look how well disciplined you will be with money by the time your IVA finishes.
You have come this far, dont give up now.

mrs skint

[MelanieGiles]

It is natural to have negative thoughts about being subject to an IVA - as it is probably so long since you got enjoyment from spending the money which was borrowed to create the financial difficulties, but each day is a day further away from that creditors meeting and a day nearer to the end.

A lot of my clients tell me that they break the IVA up into stages:-

Stage one is the first year where you are still glad to have put the creditor pressure behind you and in some sort of strange way begin to enjoy living to a budget again.

Stage two is years two and three where you have had your first year of scrimping and saving for Christmas and birthdays, and have not had a holiday. These years are tough - but halfway throught the third year is the turning point and you only have another 30 payments to make.

Stage three are the final years with the end in sight and you begin to make plans for what you are going to do with the money saved when the IVA is over.

You will come out of these IVAs far better people and will actually gain the benefit of the fruits of your labour for once. Opportunities will arise for you, and you will probably never be in debt again.

Can I also suggest that you try to set a little aside each week into a treat fund - and then at the end of the month do something together that you enjoy - have a pizza, catch a movie, have a day out in the hills or at the coast or just get some bottles of wine in and get tiddly together - just like you used to when you were teenagers. It gives you something to look forward to each month, and you will really appreciate the efforts you are making to repay your creditors.

[e.h]

Thanks for your replies. Melanie, that is a great way to look at it. Definitely going to have a "Treats Fund".

Liz
x

[rachellxx39]

Hi i thought a treats fund was also a good idea we need something to look forward too.!!

[johnt]

being in precisely the same situation, owed £60,000, I take solace from knowing the interest which was at least £500.00 a month is no longer going to Barclays and HSBC.

It's slowly getting payed of, and no longer growing. Which these days puts me in the minority

[louisa.s]

Hi Liz,

We were in the exact same situation as you shortly after our first year when we got to point of sitting down and deciding if it was all really worth it. I'm happy to say that we worked through the darkness and now almost 2 years into our IVA we are much happier and in control. We now have everything in separate accounts to control our budget and ensure that if there is money left over in our housekeeping budget then we treat ourselves to a takeaway or a bottle of wine. And by doing it like for the first time in our entire adulthood (12 years or so) we have actually got some money in a savings account. It wasn't easy but we thought outside the box to achieve it.

It is difficult but you do need to reward yourselves occasionally with "normal folk things" like going to the cinema (orange wednesday 2 for 1) or going for a takeway or meal.

And I hope tomorrow is better...

Lou x

[Adam Davies]

Hi
Hang in there e.h,focus on the end of your IVA and a debt free future.
As Mel and others states give yourselves a treat every so often,look out for meal deals at restuarants in the national press etc
Regards

[MelanieGiles]

Andy

Did you and Bev manage to have many treats when you were in the middle of your IVA? I imagine that was difficult with four children?