We are worried and struggling

[Paul.hp]

thank you everyone and Lesley,Kallis3, Dontlookback, Foggy x

[kallis3]

How are you today Paul?

[lem]

Paul I have just read through this thread and wanted to send you my best wishes, please don't beat yourself up so much over your debts and your situation, you know, there are hundreds of thousands of people out there right now in horrendous debt, trying to stay afloat and with the belief that they are managing, when in reality they are not, I know you feel like you are the only one going through this, and even though on here we know many of us are in an IVA, when you don't see these people on a day to day basis, you do feel everytime you walk round town that you are the only one, but believe me you are not!, you have taken the steps to address your debt and working your way through, yours are now under control, irrespective of what happens in the next couple of years, there are hundreds of thousands out there who are drowning, but just haven't found the courage or strength to tackle it just yet, please take care of yourself, you are not alone in this xx

[Jo.58]

Hi Paul
just wanted to add my support, I know actually what you are going through re your childhood and it's a hard thing to cope with but it's not your fault, after years of debt and struggling, selling my family home (which I had lived in for 39 years) thinking I could deal with it on my own, I finally realised that we needed help. Lem is right you are not the only one, I thought that too, wondering how people were managing that it was just us, but joining the forum made me realise that we are not and there are people from all walks of life ( have I said that right ) that are in debt, but you found the strength to deal with it. Don't ever feel ashamed, yes we got into debt for whatever reason but we are facing the situation and dealing with it, you are stronger than you think. I am now having counselling to deal with my depression and past, which does help, just talking about things can help. Like you I'm married and have 2 children and feel guilty that I can't give them all that they want, but I'm here that's the main thing and can give them my love, money comes and goes but family is what is important. my daughter bless her said to me the happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts, I'm going to think positively, I know easy said than done, but we are all here for you, for each other, you have come so far, stay strong x x

[Paul.hp]

thank you Lem & Jo.58 and Kallis3, I do feel better thanks to your kind words, I will continue posting later today. Thanks again for being there for me. I feel I right wimp, but a stronger wimp as a result of your advice and concern. x

[kallis3]

Glad you are feeling better today. You're not a wimp at all, you're taking control of your life again.

[MRBLUESKY]

I Paul i,m glad your feeling better today.you,ve done really well getting past the 3 year mark.It will be all down hill from here,we all need help and support with debt,you have done the hard bit,keep posting,and keep strong, we will all help you whatever it takes.

[Skippy]

It's good to hear from you Paul and I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today x

[Paul.hp]

thank you guys and girls, I am working at moment so sorry for delay in replying. I will continue to post and keep in touch. Work does take my mind off things. x. I like making other people happy through my work, it gives me a buzz. It might help if I told my whole story to you all, I did with Money Saving Expert.com and got a phone call and their number from Martin Lewis about a year ago.

[kallis3]

Why don't you write a blog on here Paul. There is a link to get started on the left hand side of the page.

[Paul.hp]

Hello friends, I am still alive, just!. Just started year 5 of IVA. My IP is still very vague, I rang them today to ask if I should be contacting lenders now and they said yes, as usual another phone rang so IP said she would have to answer it and goodbye?. So depressed and sick still. Boy, could I really spill the beans about how I have been totally lied to. Worst of all my IP told me I was a liar and they did not think I was mentally unwell..........

[Foggy]

Hi Paul. Good to hear from you Keep chipping away --- you are so very nearly there.

Aren't you lucky ? It seems your IP is also a qualified mental health practitioner !!! (sorry .. can't help a little sarcasm there!)

[kallis3]

Glad you're still.here and, hopefully on the downhill stretch towards the end of the IVA. Your IP should explain to you when the time comes that you need to try and remortgage. Sounds as though youve had some less than.sympathetic treatment from them and I'd complain about the person who made those comments. Have you ever had to produce a doctors note? If not, I'd think about getting one and waving under their nose.

Keep.going, we're all here for you at anytime

[MelanieGiles]

If your IP really did call you a liar, then I am shocked - and if this was a member of their staff then I would consider lodging a complaint as no-one deserves to be spoken to like that.