When I was in the depths of despair, almost exactly 12 months ago, I just did not know where to turn. I was paying out more than was coming in, my overdraft was maxxing out, all my credit cards were full to the credit limit, and I felt such a dreadful sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. You know, that feeling where you just feel there is absolutely nothing that can be done?
I had no idea that IVAs even existed, and I could not face the risk of going bankrupt, not only because of the job that I do, but also because it would have destroyed the people closest to me, especially my amazingly supportive dad.
I "Googled" debt relief as a last resort to see if there was anything, ANY SMALL morsel of comfort out there in webland, and came across this amazing forum.
I read and read, was admitedly completely baffled, but discovered that there really was hope, and that my life was not over as I knew it!
I then started investigating the different options open to me, DMP's and IVA's. Initially, I felt the DMP was best, because I had every intention of trying to pay back every single penny that I owed.
When I realised though the enormity of my debt, it shocked even me. I guess my head was in the sand and I didn't want to accept or admit just how much debt I was in.
To go down the DMP route, I would've been paying back for eternity - quite literally we were looking at 20 years possibly.
I couldn't face that, and so, I started looking into the IVA route. I felt this was a "failure" on my part. Being unable to service my debts, despite working every hour I could to try and clear them. But the reality was, I was just paying the minimums on each of my payments and was getting nowhere. Working 15-18 a day trying to make ends meet. It was affecting my health, both mentally and physically.
Then, the advice I got from here started to build up my confidence. I realised that it was not a "failure" to own up to my problems and admit I had a debt crisis that simply wouldn't go away.
I shopped around, as suggested by many people on here, not least Jan (Kallis)!
I looked into Payplan, CCCS and then this other company, headed by a certain Melanie Giles.
It took me a long time to "take the plunge", but eventually, with much trepidation, I went with Melanie.
It was essential to me (and still is) that my dad did not find out about the huge mess I was in. It would have destroyed him to find out that I owed so much money. But Melanie, Tina, Angela and a few others re-assured me of the confidential nature of an IVA, and I went for it.
It was a petrifying few weeks, but Melanie and her team made it so smooth and took all the stress away.
This forum continued to be supportive of me. I recall the week leading up to my creditors' meeting, like so many others, I was terrified. Having cancelled all my payments, I knew that if it was rejected, I would be faced with bankruptcy, which really was not an option to me.
The support, the love, the care and the genuine empathy shown by people on here REALLY helped me through those dark months.
My creditors meeting came, and I was amazed with how smoothly Melanie and her team made it go. I know they were probably getting fed up with me panicking non-stop, but I guess they are used to it.
Now, fast-forward almost 1 year. I am 9 months into my IVA, with my first annual review approaching, and I can honestly say that all the stress has gone. I make manageable payments, which has completely released me of the monthly worry about having NOTHING....no money at all.
I still dip in to this forum every day. Don't always post, but I'm always here. I look at all the comments and all the topics, and just count my lucky stars that I found this wonderful forum, and thank my lucky stars that I chose such a fantastic IP as Melanie.
I know that I still have four years to go, and I know there will be a bit of stress at annual review time. I guess this is because it will be another step into the unknown.
However, what I do know is, that Melanie will support me, and you guys will support me, both at annual review, and hopefully for the next four years.
To revert to having just one job, with sensible hours, instead of having to work 15-20 hours a day, has improved my health, my confidence and my well-being.
Being able to manage my monthly IVA payment has been a great release of stress.
OK, I don't have much left come the end of each month until pay day, but at least I know that everything I have is not adding to my debt any more, and I can honestly say, if it weren't for this forum, I would certainly have been in a very dark place by now.
Instead, I am already counting down the months until the end of this. Four years away maybe, but hopefully four years with far less stress than I had been under for many many years before.
Thanks to everyone on this forum. [:D]
Now debt free after F&F in July 2012.
