What is WORSE!!!

[andrewgoodman121]

I am not saying it's easy as i am in an IVA myself and going through the pain barrier of setting it up was very daunting indeed.
But the the thing is i confronted the problem and needed help as i want to get rid of the Debt once and for all.
I have been in my IVA for nearly a year and ok i have had some good months and some struggling months, but if i was to continue as i was in option 4 of my 1st post i would be just burying my head in the sand and getting more and more worse off.

[andrewgoodman121]

It's 49 months to debt freedom or 49 years if i carried on with option 4

[freelili]

Well done Andrew for getting sorted out, I hope the next 49 months go smoothly for you.

I hear what youre saying and youre right but some people who do not know these options will continue to struggle and may be too ashamed to ask for the correct help.

[Skippy]

I wish it was as cut and dried for everyone as it's been for you Andrew. Facing up to debts takes a lot of courage, and choosing the right solution isn't easy. That's why some people will continue to bury their head in the sand, thinking there isn't a way out.

[kallis3]

I agree Skip. There are an awful lot of people out there who know they have a problem, but have no idea who to talk to. I used to be like that and try and sort it myself. It didn't work, I eventually found the right solution and then this site.

If someone offers you a DMP when you are at rock bottom, you will grab it with both hands.

If you are managing to pay the minimum, then a lot of people are happy to do that as well.

You can't deal with the problem unless you admit it is there.

[andrewgoodman121]

I don't really feel any shame about being in an IVA whatsoever.
I have come to an arrangement with my creditors and
no matter what way i went about it being Bankrupt or What i would still feel no shame.

I feel PROUD of myself for sorting it out and dealing with it.

Everybody encounters Low Points in there lives and this was mine but in the End it will make you a better person and from then on in life will be easy.

11 Down 49 to go

[Julie]

LadyH,

You've taken the words out of mouth! Yesterday hubby and I had a real heart to heart over various things. I won't bore you with the details but I've "blogged" it.

We were never given the option of BR and neither were we told the full aspects of the IVA. We felt as though we were bullied into the modifications and I feel embarrassed to admit that [:I] As strong minded individuals, you'd think we would have stood our ground or explored the avenues available better. I can only put it down to sheer desperation on our behalf. I also get annoyed at the length of time our IVA took to get approved, even though it was approved at first meeting, the whole process took over 6 months. During this time we were told not to make any payments to creditors but of course extra charges were accrued, bumping up our total debt.

To be honest I wish we had gone BR at the start. Like you not every month has been hard but the majority are a struggle. We haven't even reached the 2nd year, but I try and stay positive that we will get through this.

xx

[jane.l]

It was partly from reading this forum, in the early stages of our IVA proposal being drawn up, that we decided on bankruptcy instead. I read about the people struggling and thought, there is no way we want to keep on struggling like that for the next 6 years, and we were losing the house anyway, we decided to put ourselves first. Our IVA company were giving certain aspects of advice that we were not happy with, we were landed with a £2000 bill from the estate agent/solicitor from trying to sell the house and when we rang to ask what should we do about it and should it be included in the IVA, the woman just said "can't you borrow it?"[:0] err no, we are insolvent, thats why we are trying to get an IVA!

[freelili]

Lady h

I feel for you, I dont see how thay can justify cutting you to the quick like that. I am on benefits right now, I have my heating on and am not cold. I cant have it on all day just 15 mins of every two hours until the kids return but I dont expect to live in the lap of luxury. However, you are trying to pay your debt back and this is the thanks you get, not even basic human rights? Its appauling in this day and age, if such conditions existed in a prison, there would be an outcry, in my humble opinion its wrong.

Hang in in there honey, you are too far into this to go any other way now, I will send you a hug to get you warm. (I know tumble dryers are b***** expensive things but please just put a blanket in there for 5 mins and wrap yourself in it, its bliss, thats my hug for you).

[freelili]

Julie

Just off to read your blog now.

Hang on in there too, really glad you can talk things through with hubby.

[moretolife]

it is funny how some of us"regret" taking the IVA route.....to begin with i wouldnt have considered BR but it was never fully explained to us anyway...but as i have been on forum i realise that BR isnt the nasty horrible thing i had always thought of...and i think now we would have looked at it very seriously...even if it meant losing the house....

there is so much we didnt get told about before we signed...i knew nothing about 4th year clause...nothing about full and final....nothing about protect IVA with insurance....its only reading here and posting that all is being revealed ..
i know the IPs on here will say..."everyone should know everything "...but i still say that most of us will sign anything to get the IVA up and running....
i take full responsibility....but even so...i would like to have been given more info re BR
sorry this is sounding confused...not having a good day so far.....

[Julie]

I think we all feel confused at times during our journeys.

MTL - thank you for your comment, its actually made me fill up, you're so kind...I hope your day gets better xx

[freelili]

One of the companies I first spoke to mentioned BR as the best route but I didnt want to hear it. It sounded too drastic and I had visions of snotty nosed people picking their way through my house and my childrens things and couldnt bear the thought of us sitting on the floor with nothing. (not that we had a lot). Then another company told me I didnt want to consider BR as I would lose the car, there was no way I could keep it and knowing I rely on it, it wasnt an option. I know now that the OR would not have taken my car away from me, not with the disability that exists in my children. I think youre in a place of guilt, fear and shame and dont want to hear yourself saying the things you have to say to get through this thing. Its cringable, right? You just want a way, a straw to clutch, someone to end the churning in your stomach, the voices in your head, a reason to go on living, anything, aboslutely anything is better than where you are now. At least thats how I saw it at the time.

[moretolife]

i agree...i find myself the same when i go to hospital or doc appointments....here i am a 53 yr old woman ...reasonably intelligent(!)...and articulate...but pop me onto an examining couch with my legs in the air and suddenly i lose all ability to be decisive and become alomst childlike and "yes sir ...no sir " ...in the first couple of months of this year i had to have a few hospital apps and as i said i found myself so accepting of things instead of being assertive..

so maybe thats what happened pre IVA....
there is a verse in the bible which comes to me every now and then...something like this
"the borrower becomes a slave to the lender."...and i guess thats how i felt ....a bit slave like..
but this forum does empower us doesnt it.!!!

i think i am just having a"monday day ".....

swans girl...your blog really touches me...life as it happens....

[Julie]

I would like to say though that for some people an IVA is definitely the right option. It comes down to getting the right advice for you and making sure you feel comfortable with your choice of IP.

With hindsight we would have done things differently, but hopefully anyone who looks on this forum before making a decision will get real life experiences as well as expert advice.

I'm still confident we will have a debt free future - you have to stay positive eh?

xx