What is WORSE!!!

[Julie]

I like it when someone else has a moan, it makes me feel less guilty for offloading [:)]

I really don't know whether to BR as we're in 19 months in....more decisions...

xx

[Julie]

Thanks H - I am seriously considering, waiting to see if IP will reduce payments A: to enable us to lease car, B: so we can live from month to month.

I'd then have to get the house valued to see if any equity in house - I think if there's any it would be less than £10k now and half of that is mine, so can't be touched.

I'm going to do some more research so all be prepared for lots of questions in coming days.

xx

[freelili]

Hi guys

You can moan all you like, this is the place for it. Its a miserable existence by the sound of it. You need to be able to live, not just exist. Lady h, you are so far in now, it would be such a shame to fail but if its unbearable its an option I guess.

Julie, have a really good think as I remember exactly the same conversation with Skippy, she so needed a reduction and tried several times but they wouldnt help her so she gave up in the end. It was a difficult decision for her as it is for anyone in this situation but she never looked back. You can only do your best against the odds for so long. Worrying about debt is one thing, but all these 'options' are supposed to alleviate worry and strife but it seems now youre just worrying about money instead. OK, we all worry about money to some extent, but not to be able to keep warm (a basic human need) is another matter. I manage to provide for my kids as I have allowances for it, so I dont worry about birthdays etc, they just get what I have managed to claw back. If you have to go without basics to do this, then its not working. My clutch finally gave out six months ago, I had to repair it, luckily I had the contigency, I have even managed to pay back it back, my sons clutch went last week. I can manage, as long as I live within reason its all fine, it doesnt sound like you have that though. I feel for you, I really do.

Love and best wishes.

[Skippy]

Sorry, I'm a bit late with this.

To be blunt, I wish I'd gone BR at the beginning. In some ways I'm proud that I tried an IVA, but it was never going to work. My main reason for not going BR was because I was told I didn't want to by the company I approached.

Lily is right, I haven't looked back since I went BR. Don't get me wrong, it was a hard decision and going to court and speaking to the OR wasn't exactly pleasant, but it was better than going on for the next 4 1/2 years (as it was then) not being able to afford a reasonable standard of living. I'm not rolling in money now - things are tight, but we can manage. I might have to ask the OR to reduce my IPA next year if our mortgage goes up too much, but fingers crossed I won't have to.

Please don't think I'm saying everyone should go BR because it worked for me - that's not what I mean. Good luck to anyone who is having to make that decision as I know it's not easy xxx

[michael.t47]

i love you all
an i hope we all get through this
TOGETHER