what role do you play..?

[bagpuss]

This has been on my mind for sometime, and just wnated to see what role you all play...

My role has always been the one who sorts out the money...if you asked rob how much his car insurance was he'd say "ask angie"...same answer for mortgage, gas, etc...i do it all....i search for better quotes, i renew insurance and i have to check the bank everyday to make sure direct debits and chq's will all go through.

Now i took on this role as i had more opportunity than him...he works all day...cant get to a phone all day and is limited to what he can do on a computer.

But sometimes i hate having this role...sometimes i feel that when it all went t*ts up i was to blame...but then also felt he was to blame as maybe if he had imputted more to this role it wouldnt have happened.....who knows.

I have female friends who are just given housekeeping each week and all they have to worry about is making it last the week...its all taken care of by there husbands/partners....sometimes i feel like i would prefer that, but then knowing me i wouldnt be able to keep my nose out....i'd have to check its been done right.

After an exhausting 3 weeks of trying to sort the re-mortage i did say to rob..."you have no idea how stressful this all is"...and told him my thoughts...he said he appreciated it...and that if he could help he would...i was even moaning that i didnt even have time to sort my hair appointment out. I cracked up an hour later when he came upstairs to tell me that he has booked me in to get my hair done at 10.30 on Friday.....LOL...bless him.

So who does what in your house...who sorts the bills, money, banking, quotes etc...him or her and how does it make you feel, do you mind..?...does it work...?



Angie xx


My IVA Story......http://bagpuss.blogs.iva.co.uk/2007/09/ ... iva-story/

[spenmotherhen]

I'm like you Angie, sort out the money side of things etc.

Sometimes I think that I have'nt done it to well as some of this mess we got ourselves in was done to overspending.

It has become a big of an addiction now checking my bank account on line daily, despite knowing exactly how much is in there when all of my Direct Debits are due out and for how much. It's almost as compulsive as making sure my towels are correctly folded in my airing cuboard, lol!!

At least your husband phoned up and booked your hair appointment, mine would'nt even know where I had it done lol!!

Hope your mortgage gets sorted soon, have a stress free "Hair Do"

Spenmotherhen

[R1chard]

me and my GF do all the money things together - i got inot this mess prior to gettting with her but she says past is past and we sit down each month and do a budget planner - and the last two months we have fully 100% stuck to it and for the first time in a fair few years my money has lasted me the whole month!

[bagpuss]

I do that with towels too....

Do you wish it was the other way round...? could you leave him to get on with it, or would you have to double check..?

I sometimes think it would be nice to be a stepford wife who doesnt have a clue and leave it all upto the big strong man who makes all the important decisions....and all i have to so is smile and bake.

aint gonna happen is it..LOL



Angie xx


My IVA Story......http://bagpuss.blogs.iva.co.uk/2007/09/ ... iva-story/

[bagpuss]

Richard thats brilliant....doing it together sounds the perfect recipe. x

Angie xx


My IVA Story......http://bagpuss.blogs.iva.co.uk/2007/09/ ... iva-story/

[R1chard]

it works for us.

but doesnt mean it would work for everyone - a relasonship is team forming and each needs roles to feel "needed" in the relasionship

personally, id hate to have my head bureid in the sand.. didnt work for me last time huh!

[Skippy]

Dave and I sort things out together. Obviously the mortgage is in his name, so he pays that and the bills. I give him money towards it all and I pay for the housekeeping. It seems to work for us - I'd hate it if I had to ask Dave for housekeeping all the time.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[spenmotherhen]

Barpuss glad Im not the only towel freak!! my hubbie thinks Ive lost the plot, perhaps its having the tins all neat in order with the labels facing you that does it!! lol!!

No I don't which it was the other way around, like you i would want to know what i am missing lol!!

plus I think I would feel a bit of a failure, like I didn't manage to do the job properly or something.

We have a joint account and as I no longer work (childcare fees to high) It's only fair that I can help somewhere. I don't enjoy not helping support our family and this is the first time I have been out of work since i left school - very hard to adjust but getting there.

[tracy.h]

Ive always dealt with finances (doesnt say a lot)and the house is my domain i like everything in its place and i sometimes feel i may have that compulsive disorder,i drive my other half mad especaily when he leaves he's ties all over the house and newspapers everywhere.
He does the garden and if the grandchildren come round and dare dehead any of his prize flowers or kick a football in his shrubs hes not a happy bunny,but i wouldnt change him for the world,hes a saint he puts up with me.

Tracy

[lily]

When I was married my hubby just gave me housekeeping and my money was mine and the kids, I used to spend my money on clothes for them and if anything needed doing in the house but always saved a fund for a rainy day. I wore a uniform all day so I didnt need much but he would give me extra money for clothes for me as he likes a woman to look nice.

Since our divorce, he has grown away from the kids, his new family take priority now so I have to manage everything, be mom and dad. This is the first time I have not been working in 10 years and I have to say I am more unorganised now than I have ever been. When I was working I had to be on top of things now I dont and I think, hmmmm I will do that tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes.

I got into the mess and I am going to get myself out of it. Only one person to blame really and that is me. I tie my towels with ribbons, not because I am obsessive but because I have two shelves, one for hand and one for bath, if I didnt tie them they would use the lot on one shower, now they actually have to do something to get them they only use what they need. I am very obsessive when it comes to shopping, everything has to be on the belt in the correct order or I freak out, I use my own shopping bags which are labelled, it just makes it easier to put away.

Some day soon I am hoping to be free of debt, thats my mission right now.

lily

[Skippy]

My towels are just chucked on top of the boiler - we have no cupboard space in the flat. The one thing I am really pedantic about is my CDs - I like them kept in strict aphabetical order much to Dave's amusement!

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[aguise]

Hi there
I have always dealt with the money, as I was in the house before we met and it was just me that did everything.
I felt responsible for all the debt, though all decisions for loans etc were done together. When we went for the iva hubby, kept saying to me after the phone call that he couldnt believe I had kept the payments up and how well I had done, rather than it was my fault.
Anyway, he once moaned about not having the bank card and me dealing with everything so I gave him the card at the beginnning of the month, I got it back 10 days later as he had run out of money , he never commented again. lol
Sometimes I wish I didnt deal with it but then like you all I would want to know what was going on.
I used to think how nice it would be just to have housekeeping and not worry about bills, but I am happy doing it now I dont have the stress of robbing peter to pay paul,

Ang

Please visit my blog at http://aguise.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[sps]

I sort everthing out financially it's just the way we've always done it. Someone at work asked my husband how much our quarterly gas bill was and he replied about £60 - I wish!!
He says I'm like that film Sleeping with the enemy the way I have everything neat. Our eldest daughter also keeps her CD's in alphabetical order, I keep threatening to shuffle them when she annoys me
Sue

[poppy84]

Im the one who sorts out allthe bill,direct debits etc.
I too check my banking on a regular basis.
I know what you mean some times you think "it would be nice if they would do it & you could sit back & have it taken care of" but to be honest i prefer to do it cos i know its done then,my hubby would forget!
He hasnt a clue what we pay out or how to even pay a bill i think!
He doesnt even know ho wmuch he gets paid every mth!I check on his online pay slip.
Im there every mth working all the money out.
I feel safer knowing ive done it/sorted it!
Control freek!LOL

[mish1953]

Hiya - this is an easy one !

Mish
full time Single dad .
full time work
full time skint