Life is for living, however we sometimes get lost in the responsibility side of things and I think this is how a lot of people end up in our position.
I accept full responsibility for our debts and I only wish they were caused by bad investments or business problems, but they weren't. They were caused by my ignorance and unwillingness (is that a word) to face up to my debt sooner rather than later. I was the one who kept going back to the cash point, I was the one who couldn't not have that gadget. They kept raising my limit, but I made the decision to carry on.
I will never own a credit card again, however, I will need to finance a car, as I am still doing now within our IVA. Hopefully we have learned our lesson in time, because I'm afraid a lot of our friends and family still seem to be living the lie and we are seeing all the warning signs that we couldn't see ourselves at the time.
As others have said the less you have, the richer you are, I've experienced luxury, but someone else paid for it, but my happiest memories have been sitting at home with my family, it's free you know! Regards to Jan, this what puts it all into perspective.
Last edited by Beans on Toast on Sat Sep 13, 2008 1:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
Jan ... so sorry to hear of your news. My thoughts are with you, age makes no difference you know, I always say that the older a person is when they die the longer they have obviously been in our lives ... and so the greater the hole they leave ... and parents are such an integral part of our lives. After my father died, which was my first experience of mortality, I re-evaluated my life and made lots of changes for the future.
As for post IVA, well I never accrued my debt through any kind of extravagent living (sadly) it only ever really transpired through supporting my children on my own. And so I will continue in the somewhat frugal way that I always did. I love saving up money as it gives me a sense of security. But I also tend to spend a little on MYSELF now the children have grown up. I have a few weekends away booked in the not too distant future ... "autumn in the Lake District" for a weekend ... "Christmas at Castle Howard" another weekend away.
What I have learnt is possibly more to do with self awareness and growth of myself as a person, much of which has been through the fantastic people on this forum and my own personal research into the debt and finanial world in general.
Jan so sorry to hear you have lost you Dad, a hug from me too.
December 2011 we will finish our iva. I wont want any form of credit, we will live on what we have, and should be able to quite comfortably, we plan to get things straight for our retirment, save a little, make the garden easier for me to manage,sort the house and have a few holidays. ( sound a right oldie dont I) My only wish is that I had done something sooner.
Once again thank you for the kind words and support, Debbie you are are so right the longer you know some one the bigger the hole.
Like so many my debt was not from extravagant living but as beans said it was me who used the credit cards and purchased the goods however some of the things I brought like a stair lift for my husband as he can't manage the stairs and an electric buggy as he can't walk total cost £4000+ I don't feel was extravagant. We had a few holidays in the UK but only one a year and tried to help our daughters, I don't have a luxurious home or jewelry or smart cars we are defiantly 'Joe Average' we don't drink or smoke and a meal out/take away was always a rare treat not the norm (please don't think I am having a go at people who do smoke drink enjoy meals out take aways). I have learnt that some things that i used to buy like lots of clothes are not essential As long as I look neat and tidy I don't care. So like Debbie I will carry on as I do now the only credit I may have to get is for a car as a car is essential for work and my husband for hospital appts etc. I don't miss credit cards I like in some ways dealing in cash as I feel that was another issue for me was forgetting what I spent on a debit card it was easier with cheques as there are the stubs to jog the memory.
Have a good week end
Jan
Nothing you can buy feels as good as not being in debt.
Like Dots and luluj, I too intend on celebrating (a small celebration) as to the start of my new 'debt free' existence - perhaps a holiday am not quite sure.....yet.
My whole life pre IVA revolved around trying to please friends and family - normally with gifts acts of genorosity, or helping them out financially. Since been in my IVA, I understand who my real friends are, suffered a very painful divorce (still going through that now) - however, I beleive I have become more responsible and stronger.
I don't anticipate getting into any further debt, my life post IVA will be about saving for the future, the only credit I see myself getting is perhaps a car (and the mortgage) - but other than that - if I don't have cash, it won't be bought.
On the subject of credit cards - that's something I do see necessary BUT ONLY for expenses I occur through work, as a consultant, I travel extensively both in the UK and internationally, paying for hotels/car hire/flights is a costly business, my current employer has given me a float - sometimes this can run out in the course of travel. I also see it as an emergency, only this month my only cash card was stopped whilst abroad and left me in an awful position with no availability to cash or to pay hotel/car hire or even buy food - so I see a credit card as a must for me for work expenses and an emergency.
I am really looking forward to my new existence in 2010........still a long way to go.
I'm going to concentrate on my health, trying to stave off a horror so that i can enjoy what it feels like to be debt free for the first time in my life.
I too try to use cash as much as possible nowadays. The act of paying over actual cash and thinking "it took me five hours to earn that" really makes me question whether I really need what I am intending to buy ... and usually I don't
