why are bhol so long

[lisa]

we are left in limbo again over weekend geting more worried and scared......
i have now contacted cccs? see if they can offer more advice i no prob not, but just want to be able to be 100% certain on thing.....
ok we cant go Br as hubby hotel manager so does accounts wages ectect....
so after our IVA failed we were refered to payplan, who basicaly said they cant help, it seem where ever we go for help the companys wash there hand of us.... PP are sending us forms to send out to creditors and as i said they say we send £1 to each, i mean they not gona accpet this, that y i contacted cccs, see if they can see any other way.
i mean can u see Black horse accpeting this ........... no i dont think so
we were thinking or going it for our selfs and asking both bank that we have loans if they accpet 50 per mth for say 6mths, one surposed to get 161 the othe 139, and then offering every1 else 10 per mth and more if we can obviosly shred out proper, no faves ect....
i just dont no where to go next, and as times going on i can see us been inundated with court letters, i wish now wed not bother going for iva as it seems we have wasted 2mths, and in those 2mth the debts have been getting biger and biger....... now i back to no sleep not been able to eat been snapping with kids ectect............... there a big brigde nr me, and the way i feel at min it looks good i no not the rite way but then my debt would be writen off n hubby n kids could start again.............i dot no where to turn for help , no i want s to help i dont no what to do lisa

[aguise]

Hi Lisa did you try the company Melanie suggested and are you positive your husbands job wont alow you to go bankrupt.

Ang

[lisa]

yeah certain, we dont wnat no one finding out about our mess and there is chance that he may b ofered his own hotel in the coming yrs and this wont happen if we go BR, i havnt tried the company mel sugested what im worried about is wen we getting company after company there a time bomb of debt waiting to blow up, i dont think i can cope

[aguise]

Lisa I would try the compoany mel suggested it is worth a try and that fact she recommended it speaks for itself.If payplan cant help then try another, if you dont things will just get worse anyway,
Try to keep your chin up I sympathise so much as I can see your trying do do something and things just arent going your way so give them a ring , if they cant help you are no worse off than now.

Angx

[aguise]

Just to add Lisa. Have just read mels post and she said they could sort it in a few days so what harm in trying.


Angx

[tracy.h]

Lisa,you must stop having these negative thoughts you are doing all you can to sort your problems out,and no matter how bad things seem right now you will find a solution to your problems,your main concern is your family you have children who rely on you remember Lisa money counts for nothing but your family are everything,so talking about ending your life is not an option here.Look at all the positives like running your own hotel like you said in another post regardless to whats happening now think long term,There will be a way forward,have you spoken to your husband told him how low you are feeling,do you have support from anyone else in the family or from friends that you can talk to.
Maybe go and see your GP im sure they will be able to help you its not a crime to ask for help i know as ive been taking antidepressants for a few months now and they have really helped me to cope.Im not saying it will solve your problems but at least it will make you stronger and give you the strengh to deal with whats going on at the moment.
Hang in there Lisa the cccs are very good they will help you don't despair we are all here rooting for you keep posting
Tracy

[lisa]

Just to add Lisa. Have just read mels post and she said they could sort it in a few days so what harm in trying.


Angx

i sent them a call back request xxty everyone xx

[aguise]

Well done lisa x
Concentrate on your family none of this is worth doing silly things. As Tracy said go see the gp, you may need a little help to lift you, again no harm in trying. Anti depressants dont make you dopey nowadays they give you that little lift and make you more able to cope. I too have had them and they did help.

Ang

[gimmewine]

Lisa, I have just read most of your posts again and I have a question. How much of the 19500 debt (albeit increasing) is actually in your name? You worked out you could give 50p/£ after 6500 IP fees. If you went bankrupt but your husband didn't would you be able afford the remaining debts.

In the matter of bridges, I have both a nice big motorway, river and railway bridge nearby and have been tempted in the past. However, my youngest found me at such a very low moment and was absolutely distraught that I could even consider leaving her and her sister behind to cope. In her own words she would rather give up everything than lose me so don't even think about it. Like your husband, I cannot go bankrupt and I had to look for alternative solutions. I paid what I could afford with or without the creditors agreement, in my case about 40% of the total unsecured. I did this for a period of nearly a year whilst I sorted out a remortgage to max and obtained other finance from friends/family for the shortfall. I felt as this was it, I would never be able to climb out of this trap, not with the burden of payments going out.

The good news, this is only 18 months ago. Now, I am still struggling and will do so for another 4 or 5 years but there is light. Even if it takes me 6 or 7 years, there is still light. We have found ways of budgeting I could not have imagined, I've learnt to sew and adapt charity shop clothes to look fashionable. I've started to grow vegetables in my back garden which reduces the shopping bill considerably and my kids help with the growing. The end result is that we still have a social life, my kids are training in ice hockey and we are all watching. We have treats such as a bottle of proper coke and cake with a game of monopoly. Endless hours of fun, and very little cost.

So, no matter how hopeless it all seems, dont give up. There will be a solution for you, it will just take a little longer. Chin up, Tuesday is only two days away. Nothing you can do at the moment, so no point in worrying. Go and have that game of monopoly and enjoy.

[freelili]

Lisa

You once said that the debt was mainly in your name and I was thinking the same as gimmewine, you could go BR and then the slate would be wiped clean for you. I dont know if you have your own home or rent. You are very hard on yourself, of course you feel very desperate right now, we all know how that feels, I remember feeling exactly like you when my IVA couldnt go forward, I used to have to go the the bathroom as I would start to shake, wondering how on earth I was going to get through. However, one thing is for sure, you are important to those around you and although you want the the crushing feeling to stop, suicide would not help at all. It is a sign of deep depression when you feel those around you would be better off without you, that is an illness Lisa and you do need help to cope with it. There is an inbalance in your brain, brought about by ongoing stress and this could be helped by taking one of the new antidepressant drugs. The will not change you, make you into a zombie, or anything like that they will in time correct the inbalance, help you to cope better and help you to feel less hopeless. Somehow I get the feeling you blame yourself for everything, making you feel totally isolated.

Please Lisa, go and see your GP, you do need to, these feelings of suicide are a sign that you cant cope and suggest you need help to move forward.

We are always here to to support you and dont worry that you being stupid, youre not.
Take care
Love

LILY

fly me up to where you are beyong the distant star, I will wish upon tonight, to see you smile, only for a while, to know youre there, a breath away is not too far, to where you are.

[freelili]

One more thing, is there a family member you could confide in???

LILY

fly me up to where you are beyong the distant star, I will wish upon tonight, to see you smile, only for a while, to know youre there, a breath away is not too far, to where you are.

[keh]

Hi Lisa,

I know how you feel as my partner was the same as you about 4 yrs ago but we pulled through and got the iva abiet having to pay 57p/£ but now we got the peace of mind that in another 2 years we'll be debt free. So please don't give up and go with the old saying..."If a first you don't suceed then TRY TRY again".

You will get through this

Keith

The long and winding road will straighten out eventually....keep the faith

[scaredkez]

lisa, i can only agree with what everyone else has said, and like lily i feel you should go the Doctors and get some help from him, i know its a hard time feeling that you have no way to turn to but there will be a solution for you i am sure, like the others say, if the debt is solely in your name would it not be possible for just you to go BR, in my work i have to do the payroll and banking, i did tell my employer and he was fine with it and there was nothing in my contract in regards to BR, also when i went BR and over to the OR's office they told me there i didn't even need to inform my employer.

hope your situation takes a turn for the better soon, hang in there.
kerri

Please view my blog at: http://scaredkez.blogs.iva.co.uk/