will i have to sell the property

[dd9]

My name and my mothers name are on the deeds to our home.it is owned outright.will i have to sell the property.i owe £30000 and i dont want my husband or anyone else in my family to know about this debt.i could afford to pay £350 a month.i am 58yrs old and hope to keep working until i am 65.if i die while i still work for the council my superan would be in excess of £30000.If my husband finds out it will be the end of our marriage.

[Jo Rolland]

If you were to enter an IVA you may be required to release a proportion of your share of the property. If this were the case your mother would need to be informed as she jointly owns the property with you and it would require this to be remortgaged.

Have you thought about a Debt Management Plan? Have you spoken to your creditors regarding reduced payments?

[oldcazza]

your post really made me feel sad dd9, why do you not want your husband to know? better or worse, richer or poorer,remember your vows? I don't believe in the crap love conquer all, but i'm sure he will be mortified to think you are going through this nightmare all alone kindest thoughts to you xxx

[dd9]

Thankyou for your kind sentiments.My husbands first wife left him with a lot of debt and for that reason he is against debt.He saves for everything and its a good job HE does.I will have to go it alone.I cant believe that Ive got into this mess but I have so I will have to deal with it.Thank goodness for this brilliant forum.

[chris.g]

dd9, I understand why you feel you can't tell your hubby but surely he must suspect something? No-one can hide the pressure that this situation bring so he might be fearing the worst and might be relieved it's debt and nothing else......

[debbiw]

Hi dd9, I too run up debts of £36k, and my husband knew nothing about it, as he was totally against having anything on credit, and saved up for everything. In the end i had to tell him, and i was so scared that he would hit the roof, and want to divorce me, but he was fantastic. I had the ticking off, and the "how could you be so stupid", but I am now so glad that i told him, as he has been my rock. My IVA was approved in December 07, and it's a lonely 5 years on your own with no support. Please try and find the courage to tell him, like i did. I think you will be shocked at his reaction. x

[jpj]

Sometimes not telling people can be the right thing!! I havent told any family or friends..if i told my mum I was £120k in debt she would never sleep at night worrying about her little insolvent baby and it would probably kill her!
my dad would have a field day,and my scum bag sister in law would finally get the chance to belittle me! LOL
I have worked hard for the last 2 years,am just doing a full and final and am proud about the way i have quietly rebuilt my debt ridden life with valuable help from this forum...
Sometimes honesty isnt the best policy!!

[debbiw]

Would you tell your spouse though? I think that's different..

[MelanieGiles]

Assuming that you and your husband still live together, you will need to involve him if you intend to propose an IVA, as details of his income will need to be disclosed. This does not necessarily mean that you have to tell him about the IVA, but most professionals would advise that this is the most appropriate thing to do - although I do have clients who have refused to tell their partners.

I have also have had many clients who have been worried to share their difficulties with their partners, but then at the end of the day have changed their minds, and have felt a lot better for it. Pluck up the courage, as I am sure that you will feel a lot better.

[dd9]

If I can i will do this on my own.If i only knew what was happening with ClearStart it would be a help.Just rung them again to find out if they are going to do the iva but now they say they cant find me on their files.this has been going on since jan 17th when i sent back all the information required.i had comfirmation that they had recieved it then nothing.they are going to ring me back this afternoon.I hope!

[Skippy]

I think it would be very hard to go through a 5 year IVA without your partner knowing, especially as property is involved. It's also a tough 5 years and you will need his support.

I was terrified about telling my other half but when I did he was really supportive. He understood that I had made mistakes but wanted to do something about them. When I sat him down to tell him he thought I was going to say I was leaving!

[MelanieGiles]

What do they say about providing details of your husband's income? And also if he has any debts of his own, you will need to list these and confirm how much he is repaying to them each month. His share of the disposable income will also need to be included within your contributions, so you will really need to be sure that you can afford the payments without his knowledge.

[dd9]

My husband doesnt have any debt thank goodness.He pays half the bills and I pay the other half.We dont have any mortgage to pay.I told ClearStart how much he earns and that i wanted everything in my name only as it is my debt.I know that I could afford £350 a month, it would be a struggle but it would be better than now where I am robbing Peter to pay Paul.

[debbiw]

If the property is joint owned with your mum, I think she would need to know, because the creditors may want a equity release in year 4.. Would you be able to tell her? x

[chris.g]

Unfortunately, there isn't just you involved so keeping it secret is impossible, as much as you say it has to be. Your mother is definately going to have to know as the house will come into the equation somewhere along the line. And put yourself in your hubby's shoes, would you really like the idea of your spouse and mother-in-law keeping a secret like this from you?? You may feel unable to tell him but I think it would be worse in the long run if you didn't. I don't mean to sound harsh and unfair but you have to get over this hurdle before you can move on with sorting it out.