Will she cope?

[4kidsnocash]

My wife and I have made steps towards IVA, we made contact with an IP last week. However, before this she contacted a DM company, today when I got home from work she seemed upset; I asked if she was ok and she said I'll tell you in a minute, a sure sign she's upset. Turns out his DM company called and tried to persuede her to go with them rather than IVA. Basically putting on the hard sell.

This got me thinking, if she is close to tears after this, what is she going to be like when we start out on this journey? We have been advised not to pay any bills this month so I expect phone calls/letters to start happening in a couple of weeks; will she cope with the bully boy tactics of the debt collectors? How can I help her to get through this period without some sort of breakdown?

[Shining]

Hi the journey into the IVA can be a stressful one due to creditor contact and everyone's experience can be different some are more aggressive than others.

Can you change your telephone number to stop creditor contact via phone?

Or let the calls go straight to answerphone and you deal with them?

It is worth the run up to the IVA as when it's accepted you will get the security of being protected by the IVA against creditors.

[Foggy]

Hi -- you might be lucky. I only had a few calls, and none of them unpleasant ... so hang in there. If you have a mobile, tell everyone you might want to ring you to use that for a while (say the landline is broken) and unplug the phone.

[Foggy]

Another thought (like buses ... none all day - then two come at once!)

Get the wife to sign up here -- if things are getting bothersome she can let off steam here and get some extra support.

[Judo]

When I first started the process I just felt like I was constantly in limbo. I read so much information on so many different options that I was just mentally all over the place. Being in debt had really taken its toll on me. Before applying for an IVA I heard so many different things, some good, some not so good. In the end I really just had nowhere else to run and chose IVA.
I think your wife will feel so much better once the whole process is started. It can be daunting to begin with but she must keep telling herself it will not be forever, there is always an end.
Like Foggy I was quite lucky in that I didn't get many phone calls and much like your wife I was a quivering wreck answering the few I did get.
Ignore the phone, change your number if it helps but remember they won't last long and once your IVA is approved (if that is the road you take) your wife will really feel a true weight has been lifted.
I have only started my IVA journey. I don't expect it to be plain sailing but I have been given another chance and I can breathe again.
Best of luck and do keep posting to let us know how you both are getting on. x

[4kidsnocash]

I cannot say that it is all down to the financial problems, she's had a few "incidents" lately, she was bitten by a dog which required stitches and the ubiquitous tetanus jab, then on saturday this week she had a prang in the car so I don't think money is the complete cause.

We have been advised by the company that we contacted regarding IVA to change all our numbers (I cannot change mine as it's a company phone) but as it is so early into everything we have not got round to it yet. Also, this was a company who were supposed to have our best intrests at heart, they were going to move mountains to get us out of debt, turns out they are just trying to make their own profit. I understand they are in the business of making money, that is what businesses do, but to come over so strongly to someone who has all of these financial worries in the first place is, I think, a disgrace.

[Judo]

Aww bless her. Sometimes you do think somebody really has it in for you!

Remember that there are many reputable companies out there that do not charge a fee upfront for proposing an IVA. They of course do charge fees but these would be taken out of your monthly contribution so don't really affect you as such. If IPs fees are too high then they would most likely get driven down by creditors at the meeting anyhow.
There are also companies that don't charge for doing a DMP although you don't need to use them at all. You can arrange a DMP with your creditors by yourself if you wish. DMP was never an option for us. We would have been paying it off for many years to come. It was pretty much always IVA for us once I had done my research.

[Foggy]

If you decide to go the IVA route, you will, I am afraid, get letters from DM companies claiming you were mis-sold and offering the earth .... bin them. The reputable companies will not approach you direct .. you have to approach them.